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Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Out of the Fog

May 6, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

San Francisco is the longest lasting love affair of my life. Her beauty inspires me anew each day and I am very thankful to be able to live here on the edge of the continent in what I feel is the heart of the world. ~Nicole ,sfheart.com

The last couple of weeks have been a bit nutty from me. I think it all started with my annual check -up ( I got a clean bill of health by the way) but as soon as it was over, I got sick. I had a rash, a hacking cough, a fever….no it wasn’t “swine flu” although I had just taken a flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco where I was about the only person not returning from Spring Break in Mexico. In the end I think it was just the winding down from all the stress of making sure that I was healthy for my check-up that my body just relaxed and broke down. The stress had been hitting me hard and now it was just taking over my body in its weakened state.

Today, after two weeks, I felt like something came over me. I wasn’t sure. My wife went in for her 5 month appt for her study and was given the approval for more medication to lessen some of the side effects. A relief for her too I guess. She still wants to revisit her physician and see if he can make a few more corrections. These days, these decisions I leave to her. She wants to remove me from the clinical aspects of our marriage. In her view it is like my not telling her what hue of lipstick or what pair of shoes to wear. We then proceeded to make summer plans and take care of the millions of little things that have been bothering us. The Comcast cable issue, summer camps for kids, and all those little things we’ve been meaning to coordinate around the house, but just haven’t asked each other to help.

Then despite working late, skipping lunch, having a late dinner, and barely getting home in time to tuck my kids into bed, I had that burst of energy. I still have been coughing and I just knew I had to get out and run. I needed to have a healing run. In fact I had a major coughing fit just as I put on my shoes. I was dreading this run. While recuperating from this cold I joked with my wife that we really were getting old. I now had more medications on my bathroom counter than I can remember ever having. I joked with my wife that i need one of those daily pill boxes that my mom has.

It was a beautiful foggy night that San Francisco is so well known for. The damp mist on my face was so refreshing. I ran further than I had on any run this year and I set personal bests this year for the mile, 3k and 5k distances. It was truly amazing that despite my sickened state that my body could perform so well. It had to be that home-cooked weather. The damp streets from the fog, along with the blurry street lights created a dreamlike feel as I ran up and down the hills. It felt so good and all my thoughts raced in and out of my head. By the time I completed my circle back home I could have gone longer but it was already midnight. I felt stronger at the end of the run that I did at the beginning. My cough is suddenly gone and I don’t feel any shortness of breath.

It is amazing how much I needed this run. Not just for the energy, but mostly for my mindset. I think the San Francisco weather is like that comfort food for me. It’s healing effects on this native son are like my fountain of youth! I felt like Tony Bennett was singing to me as I glided through the streets, window shopping and gathering in the view of the fingers of fog as they reached under the Golden Gate Bridge and curled their way across the bay. It was like a lullaby that your mom sings to you when you can’t sleep. Sometimes it is the power of the soul to heal. The power of the mind helps rejuvenate your passion and your spirit. Those comfortable surroundings which lessen our worries are better than all the medicines that can be prescribed.

Speaking of sleep, I better get some. Long day tomorrow.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Business - Affiliate Marketing, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

It’s About Nothing!

April 11, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld

You might have noticed I slightly altered the tagline about this blog. I’ve been debating it since I had a conversation with a good friend a couple of weeks ago. He was interested to learn I had a blog and wanted to know what it was about. We’ve shared many of life’s details that we haven’t shared with our own wives so he wanted to know more about the phenomena of blogs. After I told him, he laughed. We both love the comic, Seinfeld. He didn’t have to say it. He knew what my blog was about….

Below is a work of semi-fiction. The names have been changed (or not). If you followed the show, Seinfeld, this blog entry might sound familiar.

(At a Keith Urban Concert)

BUD: So you write these entries about your life in a blog and people read them? I think that is pretty ballsy. I think that is interesting. Maybe I should write a blog too.

ROUTE53: Really? Well I can help you.

BUD: So, if you have any idea for a blog for me, well, let me know.

ROUTE53: I’m not sure if you can write about your legal clients, but I’d be very interested in something like that.

BUD: Well, that is attorney-client privilege so I don’t think I can. Maybe something else.

[They listen to Keith play “Sweet Thing”]

ROUTE53: Well let me know if you come up with something. Just tweet me.

BUD: Tweet you? Is that like, give you a ring?

ROUTE53: Um …never mind.

BUD: I’ll read your blog and see if it inspires me.

[Two days later BUD and Route53 meet at the local Peets]

BUD: I’ve been reading your blog. Why do you do it? It’s kind of public.

ROUTE53: I thought I’d write down my thoughts. It keeps me honest with myself.

BUD: For what? I mean, it’s kind of boring reading that you ate oatmeal again.

ROUTE53: It’s for me first, but if you find my life interesting, go ahead and read it. You don’t have to.

BUD: So it’s a blog about your everyday life?

ROUTE53: Yeah, I guess so. I’m getting old and have lots of thoughts. Sometimes I want to step back and remember them.

BUD: Yeah, but eating oatmeal. How could that possibly help you?

ROUTE53: Well, let’s say someday I get accused of a crime and the police ask where I was on this day and time? I can read my blog and tell them I remember because I ate oatmeal with Flax seed and that night I was at a country music concert with you. Well, because nobody would ever believe that story.

BUD: Come on, how hard is it to make it all up? It’s all fiction. Look at all the junk that’s on TV.
You want an idea? Here’s an idea. You’re a butcher. And you’re married. And your son is a vegetarian and you’re pushing him into the business. That would be fun to read.

ROUTE53: Why should I care if my son doesn’t eat meat?

BUD: Because you’re a butcher. It’s only natural.

ROUTE53: But meat is not for everybody.

BUD: I know, but he’s your son.

ROUTE53: So what? Besides you hit the nail on the head. Look at the junk on TV. It’s all reality TV. Well my blog is reality me.

BUD: All right, forget that idea, it’s not for you….Okay, okay, I got another one. You’re bankrupt because of the recession and you auction your life treasures on eBay.

ROUTE53: Yeah and…?

BUD: And people buy your junk and you get involved in their lives wanting to know if your items are getting good homes

ROUTE53: What person who runs an auction on eBay gets involved in people’s lives?

BUD: Why not?

ROUTE53: So someone bids on some my old comic books and all of a sudden I’m
getting them to tell me their life stories? I could see if I was a pharmacist because a
pharmacist knows what’s wrong with everybody that comes in.

BUD: I know, but online auctions are very popular right now.

ROUTE53: No they’re not, they used to be. It’s all about Web 2.0 and social marketing

BUD: Oh yeah, like you know.

ROUTE53: Oh like you do, you’re a lawyer [Route53 Tweets the whole conversation]

[STEINBERG enters Peets]

STEINBERG: …And you’re the manager of Cirque du Soleil.

ROUTE53: [Looks at BUD] You told STEINY about my blog?

[BUD shrugs his shoulders]

STEINY: Come on, this is a great idea. Look at the characters. You’ve
got all these freaks on the show. A naked Asian woman who contorts herself into a pretzel? I mean, who
wouldn’t tune in to see a headless man with an umbrella; a mute clown; underwater acrobats.

ROUTE53: I don’t think so.

STEINY: Look ROUTE53, web blogs aren’t about boring lives. People want to read about the nuts of the world.

ROUTE53: I don’t think people will go for it.

STEINY: Why not?

ROUTE53: Look, I’m not about writing about freaks. I’m writing my everyday thoughts about the people around me.

STEINY: Oh come on ROUTE53, you’re wrong. People they want to watch freaks. Look at Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. This is a “can’t miss.” [Queue laugh tracks and fade to commercial]

[Later that week at The Butcher and The Chef in San Francisco’s South Park]

BUD: So, what’s happening with your blog? You come up with anything new?

ROUTE53: No, nothing.

BUD: Why don’t they have Acai here?

ROUTE53: What do you need Acai for?

BUD: Everyone’s doing Acai in America.

ROUTE53: I know, my wife makes me drink an Acai shake every morning. You know why? Because people like to say “Acai.” “Excuse me, do you have AH-SAH-EE?” “We need more acai.” “Where is the Acai? No Acai??”

BUD: You know its crazy that first it was ginko biloba and now it’s acai.”

ROUTE53: “Don’t you know the difference between ginko biloba and acai?? You can’t order an Acai bagel at Noah’s Bagels.”

BUD: That’s not Acai, that’s Asiago. It’s a Cheese.

ROUTE53: See, that’s a blog entry.

BUD: What?

ROUTE53: This. Just talking.

Bud: (dismissing) Yeah, right.

ROUTE53: I’m really serious. This is what I blog about, my everyday life.

BUD: Just talking? Well what’s great about that?

ROUTE53: Yep, that’s what my blog is about. My life. It’s about nothing.

BUD: No story?

ROUTE53: No forget the story. It’s about the people and it’s about sharing experiences with similar people who find me

BUD: You’ve got to have a story, don’t you?

ROUTE53: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we drove to Santa Barbara and Herbie broke down and we spent the night in King’s City in that creepy motel? That could be a blog entry.

BUD: And who is in the blog?

ROUTE53: Me, you, everyone. I spend find minutes with someone and I’ll be writing about them.

BUD: Great, but can you fictionalize me?

ROUTE53: You?

BUD: Yeah. You could base a character on me, but not write about me, per se.

ROUTE53: So, in my real blog, there’s a fictional character named BUD?

BUD: Yeah. You can call me Art Vandelay, the architect. There’s something wrong with that? I’m a character. People are always saying to me, “You know you’re a quite a character.”

ROUTE53: And who else is fictional in my blog?

BUD: STEINY could be a character. STEINY..

ROUTE53: Now he’s a character. (Pause) So everybody I know now has a fictional side to them? I don’t think so. This is about my REAL life.

BUD: Alright, have it your way. Write about nothing.

ROUTE53: Thanks. You really think so? Nothing? I guess I’ll have to re-title my blog again.

BUD: Absolutely nothing.

ROUTE53: So you’re saying, I continue to spend my days and write in my blog about nothing.

BUD: WE write about nothing.

ROUTE53: “We”? Since when are you my ghost-blogger?

BUD: (Scoffs) Blogger. We’re talking about the web. You think Internet Geek Girl writes all her own material?

ROUTE53: You want to go with me to WordPress?

BUD: Yeah. I think we really go something here.

ROUTE53: What do we got?

BUD: An idea.

ROUTE53: What idea?

BUD: An idea for the show.

ROUTE53: I still don’t know what the idea is.

BUD: It’s about nothing.

ROUTE53: Right.

BUD: Everybody’s doing something, we’ll do nothing.

ROUTE53: So, we go into WordPress, we tell them we’ve got an idea for a blog about nothing.

BUD: Exactly.

ROUTE53: They say, “What’s your show about?” I say, “Nothing.”

BUD: There you go.

(A moment passes)

ROUTE53: (Nodding) I think you may have something there.

[ROUTE53’s apartment]

(ROUTE53’s explaining BUD’s idea to STEINY)

ROUTE53: So, the show would be about my real life. And one of the characters would be based on you.

STEINY: (Thinks) No, I don’t think so.

ROUTE53: What do you mean you don’t think so?

STEINY: I don’t like it.

ROUTE53: I don’t understand. What don’t you like about it?

STEINY: I don’t like the idea of a character based on me.

ROUTE53: Why not?

STEINY: Well it just doesn’t sit well.

ROUTE53: You’re my colleague. There’s got to be a character based on you.

STEINY: That’s your problem, buddy.

ROUTE53: I don’t understand what the big deal is.

STEINY: Hey, I’ll tell you what – you can do it on one condition.

ROUTE53: Whatever you want.

STEINY: I get to play STEINY.

ROUTE53: You ARE STEINY.

STEINY: I am STEINY.

ROUTE53: But you can’t act. It has to be the real you. This isn’t fiction.

STEINY: Phew!

[ WordPress reception area)

(ROUTE53 and BUD are waiting)

ROUTE53: (To himself) Acai, Asiago. Hey, excuse me, you got any Acai? No, not Asiago, Acai. (BUD doesn’t react) What’s the matter?

BUD: (Nervous) Nothing.

ROUTE53: You sure? You look a little pale.

BUD: No, I’m fine. I’m good. I’m very good.

ROUTE53: Why are you nervous?

BUD: No, not nervous. I’m good, very good. (A beat, then he snaps) I can’t do this! Can’t do this!

ROUTE53: What?

BUD: I can’t do this! I can’t do it. I have tried. I’m here. It’s impossible.

ROUTE53: This is just a blog. We don’t even have to tell them. You’re supposed to just write it! Besides, this was your idea to be part of my blog.

BUD: What idea? I just said something. I didn’t know you were going to listen to me.

ROUTE53: Don’t worry about it. They’re just an internet social platform.

BUD: They’re men with jobs, ROUTE53! They wear Crocs and drink way too much Acai.

ROUTE53: I told you not to come.

BUD: I need some water. I gotta get some water.

ROUTE53: They’ll give us water in there. In fact, they have free soda and catered lunches.

BUD: Really? That’s pretty good.

[ WordPress‘s Conference Room]

(The WordPress Network staff are all talking with ROUTE53 and BUD)

Staff Member #1: (To ROUTE53, laughing about one of his bits) The bit, the bit I really liked is your hiding in your cruise stateroom hiding from the horny 65 year old ladies. Now that’s funny.

ROUTE53: Yeah, it’s one of my favorite life events.

Staff Member #2: I was touched and felt for your wife’s battle with cancer and all the stories of other survivors.

Staff Member #3: I like hearing about how you make money on the web with affiliate programs

Staff Member #4: I think your life in San Francisco is worth reading about. And the fact you drive a beetle named Herbie with a big “53” on it.

StaffMember #2: What about you, BUD? You have any funny stories?

BUD: (Quickly making it up) Well, possibly. I wrote an off-Broadway show, “Dos Hermanos.” ..Actually, it was off-off-Broadway. It was a comedy about two Mexican entrepreneurs.

ROUTE53: Oh, it was very funny. There was one great scene with the CTO- what was his name?

BUD: Pepe.

ROUTE53: Oh, Pepe. Yeah, Pepe. And, uh, he was making a Facebook Application.

Staff Member #3:Oh, he actually wrote code on the stage?

BUD: No, no, he tweeted it. That’s what was so funny about it.

Staff Member #4: So, what have you two come up with to talk to us about?

ROUTE53: Well, we’d like you to feature our blog. We’ve thought about this in a variety of ways. But the basic idea is I will just write about my life.

BUD: (Interrupting) May I?

ROUTE53: Go ahead.

BUD: I think I can sum up the blog for you with one word: NOTHING.

Staff Member #3: Nothing?

BUD: (Smiling) Nothing.

Staff Member #3: (Unimpressed) What does that mean?

BUD: The blog is about nothing.

ROUTE53: (To BUD) Well, it’s not about nothing.

BUD: (To ROUTE53) No, it’s about nothing.

ROUTE53: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.

Staff Member #3:What’s the premise?

ROUTE53: Well, as I was saying, I would blog about myself, and, as an internet entrepreneur, living in San Francisco. I have a family, friends, and co-workers, which is all true.

BUD: Yeah, but nothing happens on the blog. You see, it’s just like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read. You eat, you read, You go shopping.

Staff Member #3: You read? You read on the show?

ROUTE53: Well, I don’t know about the reading. Maybe blog about blogging.

Staff Member #3: All right, tell me, tell me about the blog entries. What kind of stories?

BUD: Oh, no. No stories.

Staff Member #2: No stories? So, what is it?

BUD: (Showing an example) What’d you do today?

Staff Member #3: I got up and biked to work.

BUD: There’s an entry. That’s an entry.

Staff Member #3: (Confused) How is that an entry? If you Tweet that, will people read?

ROUTE53: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work. And yes it would be more of a Tweet than an Entry.

BUD: (scratching his head) No, no, no. Nothing happens.

ROUTE53: Well, something happens.

Staff Member #3: Well, why am I reading it?

BUD: Because you’re following me and you’re my “Friend”.

Staff Member #3: (Threatening) Not yet.

BUD: Okay, uh, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same old thing, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity. And I’ll tell you
something else, this is the show and we’re not going to change it. We’ll just put this on Blogger (To ROUTE53) Right?

(A moment passes)

ROUTE53: (To Russell) How about this: I manage Cirque du Soleil……?

[Later at Peets]

ROUTE53: I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. What were you thinking? What was going on in your mind? Artistic integrity? Where, where did you come up with that? You’re not artistic and you have no integrity. You know you really need some help. A regular psychiatrist couldn’t even help you. You need to go to like Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the University level. Like where Freud studied and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That’s the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No. You need a team. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock thinking about you, having conferences, observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man. That’s what I’m talking about because that’s the only way you’re going to get better.

BUD: . . . I thought the woman was kind of cute.

ROUTE53: Hold it. I really want to be clear about this. Are you talking about the woman in the meeting? Is that the woman you’re talking about?

BUD: Yeah, I thought I might give her a call. I, I don’t meet that many women. I meet like three women a year. I mean, we’ve been introduced. She knows my name.

ROUTE53: IT’S COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE!

BUD: Why? Maybe she liked me. I, I mean she was looking right at me. You know, I think she was impressed. You know, we had good eye contact the whole meeting.

ROUTE53: Oh, I forgot to call STEINY.

BUD: Wait a minute let me call her.

ROUTE53: No, no this is more important.

BUD: She might be leaving to work any minute.

[BUD and Susan enter]

BUD: Hello, oh, hello. You remember, … Susan, from WordPress

ROUTE53: Of course. How are you?

SUSAN: Fine, it’s good to see you.

BUD: And this is STEINY.

SUSAN: Hello.

BUD: All right go ahead Susan, tell him.

ROUTE53: Tell me what?

SUSAN: Well, I, [phone rings]

ROUTE53: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

ROUTE53: Oh, gee, I can’t talk right now. Why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I’m sorry we’re not allowed to do that.

ROUTE53: Oh, I guess you don’t want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

ROUTE53: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]

BUD: Well, go ahead, tell him.

ROUTE53: STEINY, are you drinking that milk?

STEINY: Yeah.

ROUTE53: What’s the expiration date on that?

STEINY: April 1st.

ROUTE53: The 1st?

BUD: and SUSAN: The 1st?

STEINY: Um, Uh, ugh, …

SUSAN: Noooo… [STEINY throws up on Susan]

[Peet’s]

BUD: I never should have brought her up there. Should have known better. Should have seen it coming. I didn’t see it coming.

ROUTE53: I think SHE saw it coming.

BUD: You know she was behind the idea. She was going to champion your blog. That’s what I was bringing her up there to tell you. And she liked me.

ROUTE53: Look just because STEINY vomited on her doesn’t mean the blog is dead. I can still write the blog.

BUD: What, are you crazy? It’s a traumatic thing to be thrown up on.

ROUTE53: Vomiting is not a deal breaker. If Jobs had vomited on Wozniak, Wozniak still would have given him Apple.

BUD: Well, write your blog about nothing.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Opening Day – A Field of Memories

April 8, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

I love Opening Day. …It’s just a special day in our American culture. It’s weaved into the fabric of what we are, and I think it’s a great day. – Padres manager Bud Black

I’m not a poet so maybe I never understood TS Eliot’s poem, The Wasteland, when he says that April is the cruelest month. It has always been one of the liveliest months for me.

Yesterday was Opening Day in San Francisco. San Francisco is not a sports crazy town and I didn’t grow up in a family where baseball and professional sports were considered anything but one of the many choices of entertainment. That said, I cherished those days when I got to go see a baseball game, a football game, etc. Moreso, I really enjoyed sharing the time and history with those I love. I remember the many games I saw at Candlestick Park with my dad (mostly football games during the 49er dynasty). In fact I remember having to look through binoculars to see everything and that is how my dad noticed I needed glasses.

They say Football is America’s Passion and Baseball is America’s Pasttime. I don’t know if my dad knew that those moments he spent with me on those cold windy nights (at the ‘Stick) were making such an impression on me. They were times where I sat there with my dad and talked between pitches and your dad casually passed on his knowledge of baseball and life in general (along with the hot dog, peanuts, popcorn and watered down hot chocolate). I don’t remember what we talked about, but it was about laughing and cheering for a cause and just sitting next to each other shelling peanuts for 3 hours. Going to those games with my dad stopped in my teens as my dad spent more time working to pay for our education and to enjoy his time on the golf course. Maybe he didn’t enjoy it as a dad, or life did get that busy.

When I got older and San Francisco opened what is now called “AT&T Park” (formerly Pac Bell and SBC and more affectionately, “the Phone Booth”) , I bought a couple tickets and was able to share “Opening Day”. I think it was the 2 years I spent in Chicago where the nostalgia really started coming to me and made me not just love the game on the field but everything that surrounds it. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I had the chance to take my dad to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs on a warm Summer day, share in a Giants victory, and help the Cubs fans drown their sorrow at Murphy’s Bleachers in a plastic cup of Old Style before showing my dad some of the better watering holes and blues clubs that Chicago had to offer. Although by this time I was well into my 20s, it was the first time I felt like I was able to relate to my dad on an adult to adult relationship. I was well free of his financial backing, we talked about my pending marriage, my future, our family, and of course baseball. It was the beginning of a new course in our relationship , the adult-adult rather than the parent-child relationship, and from there I knew that baseball was more than just a game for me.

I have to give credit to the minister who did my pre-marital testing with the recommendations for the adult-adult relationship suggestion. He was very adamant that my wife start establishing that relationship with her parents as he could see that it would be a harder struggle for them to “let go”. Truth is, that it is harder to gain that respect of a parent. 15 years later, my wife still goes through that struggle. Ironically, yesterday my wife was handed a book by a family friend who heard about my wife’s illness. It is amazing how the “sisterhood” finds each other. The book is called “The Middle Place”. more appropriately it talks about the sandwich generation we are in where we are now adults looking after our sick parents, our children and ourselves and the author comes to realize she is no longer her dad’s little girl as she deals with her diagnosis of breast cancer. My wife read the cover and said she wasn’t sure if she could read it and I offered to read it for her, but told her it is something she will have to read because she needs this example. Another example of an adult-adult relationship – and defintiely very relevant. I know my wife doesn’t want to listen to me about this subject so I’ll sit tight.

Back to the subject of Opening Day, since the park had opened in 2000 I have been able to share the festivities with some of the more important people in my life on a one-on one basis (My dad, my mom, my brother, my wife, my best friend, my daughter, and my son). There is nothing like it. The pomp and circumstance, the hopes, the memories, the patriotism can be quite overwhelming. So on this Opening Day, it was a little different as I missed it for the first time in 9 years, as I listened in my office. My office though is located only blocks from the ballpark so at lunch I wandered over, grabbed a hot dog and a soda and watched through the “Archways” in right field. A great feature of the park is that for FREE you can watch the game from behind the righfielder. It is the best way to catch a Big League Opening Day in this economy. I stared across the way between innings to where I shared so many memories with my dad and others I’ve attended games with. Its not just the Opening Days but the hundreds of other games and conversations.

The walk back to my office was one of solitude. I had gotten my fill (yes the Giants won), but more importantly I had taken the people I cared for ( not physically) to the game with me and I shared those conversations again. It hadn’t been my intention to reminisce, but it just happened in the moment. Perhaps it was the text I got on the way to the game from my mom about her friend, “Mrs. E”, who had passed. “Mrs. E” had her own connection to me with baseball. Back in high school she picked me, this gawky geeky kid to entertain her granddaughter who was visiting from Kansas. She told me not to do anything “romantic” and that the girl’s dad was the police chief in their small town. Well 9 innings later we were dating and I was scared sh–less about the midwestern Sheriff who was going to kill me for corrupting his daughter. Truth be told I think she corrupted me but I can’t remember. What I do remember though is telling her about the art of hitting a baseball and showing her the smooth swing of Will Clark as she grabbed and held my hand. Amazingly she got what I was saying, or at least she pretended to. From there I knew I had to marry a girl who could hang with me at a baseball game.

Yes baseball and life have a fabric that is woven tightly in the American hearts of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, and friends. I grew up on baseball and baseball grew up in me. While a full-blown adult, I can still go to the game like a kid and imagine I’m there with my dad or sit with my son next to me and my daughter on my lap and teach them about how to appreciate the game of baseball (because it is about appreciating life as well).

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Always Looking Up

April 5, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 2 Comments

The only thing worse than an opportunity you don’t deserve is blowing an opportunity. Michael J. Fox

Optimism is something that once you catch, you have to learn how to keep catching it everydayand be persistent about it . Friday’s are always a good day to catch it. It seems to be more abundant and people always seem to be looking for it. Once again my Friday ended and my weekend started with my leaving work at 5pm like a normal person (I usually stay late) and raced across the beautifully sun-swept San Francisco skyline to pick up my son at his baseball practice. Seeing him smile as I arrived at the playground just lifted the wear and tear that the week’s toll and coma the week-long business conference had put me in. Putting a smile on someone’s face by just being there, especially your child’s, is one of the most special things in the world and I don’t think I’ll ever want it to stop.

My son looked up to me and I realized how unconditional our relationship is. Not that every father-son relationship should be that way, but I think ours is that way. Sometimes when I talk to him I see him look up with his puppy dog eyes and his gap-toothed smile that will someday cost me a few thousand dollars and I don’t know if he is hearing what I am saying but he continues to look up and nod. When we received our children’s report cards this week, we were not only happy to see that both children had received stellar records. But even more important was to meet with the teachers and have them tell us how easy they are to deal with. No matter what anyone says, parents go into Parent-Teacher conferences to see “their own report card” as a parent. I know our son is easy to work with but the bigger news was to hear how well our daughter is doing. It makes a parent feel good to know that they are doing things right. We work really hard to make sure our second child doesnt suffer the fate of being the second on everything.

Speaking of being optimistic, the title of this entry refers to the new book of that name by Michael J. Fox and talks about his fight with Parkinson’s Disease. Despite the religious connotation of the title, it actually refers to Fox’s short stature. The subtitle though, “Adventures of an Incurable Optimist” talks about how he has kept his hopes up despite his illness. He even says that it saved his life and marriage. This disease which is crippling him has helped his marriage? Where have I heard this before? Yes, these diseases and illnesses bring perspective to one’s life. As we race through our twenties and thirties we often don’t face up to our own mortality and the responsibilities of those who are always looking up at us for guidance. Fox, who has battled long and hard for the cure for Parkinson’s despite even the inability to brush his teeth is so optimistic that a cure will be found that he claims he’ll be able to dance with each of his three daughters at their weddings. The overall title alludes to an emotional, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual outlook that has served Fox throughout his life because of his height and made him tough enough to fight his illness. The book covers his retirement from his acting career and how he was forced to look at himself (he continually does this in the mirror every day so as not to fear what he might see or worry about what others might think of him) and now how to reinvent himself as a speaker and advocate for a cure for Parkinson’ s.

In the book, Fox talks about how seeing his children grow up motivates him more than ever. When his daughter wants him to read to her, she climbs on to his lap and Fox worries when this might end. I can just picture how Fox cherishes every moment he gets with his children because his condition changes from hour to hour. Every morning he wakes and doesn’t know how his body will be on that day.

Today upon coming home from my son’s baseball game I walked in and saw my 7-year old daughter dancing around to some Miley Cyrus (or is it Hannah Montana?). Anyway I came across a couple of her items that just made me smile. First is her inspirational new song called “The Climb”. It’s about being persistent and I think both my children got the message as I saw my son shed a tear as he got up and hugged my wife. It is so touching to see when children get the message. Here is the official video. Just close your eyes and listen. No need to look at the bad video.

I’ll also close this on a more casual and upbeat note. Get your dancing shoes on people! And for my friends out there in the music industry who are going to discredit me for making two mentions of Hannah Montana in the same blog entry, I don’t care. This is marketing! Your kids are going to be doing this in a couple months so just do it. Miley Cyrus is following up in her dad’s footsteps (Remember the Achy Breaky?) Well get ready for the ‘Hoedown Throwdown” Oh yes, line dancing is going to be back and you’ll need to learn the steps for a wedding coming to a reception near you this summer! Check it out:

Thanks for listening everyone. Keep looking up and let’s see those dance moves!

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Finding Daily Inspiration: 6 Months Post-Surgery

April 1, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 2 Comments

“If the sun is not shining on you, may it be shining in you.” – Dean Karnazes, Ultra-Marathoner

I’ve been asked by many how my wife is doing physically after her latest procedure and why I don’t discuss it more here. Well fortunately my wife is doing well such that we don’t have to discuss her battle every day. While someone suggested I actually keep a cancer blog and a non-cancer blog, I just don’t have the time. This blog is about my life. Its work. Its family. Its my thoughts all in one place. For anyone who reads this and puts their foot in my shoes, they’ll likely be touched by the same family, work and health issues at some point in their lives. For me it is about finding others like me. Some might be in exactly in the place I am or might have been where I am in the past and help me get through some of life’s issues.

So the answer is: My wife is fine and back at almost normal activity levels although she can’t exercise full on for a few more weeks. She still has some sutures that we don’t want to pop out like they did last time. It is important that the sutures are allowed to heal naturally so that the scars will heal properly.

It has been a little over 6 months since her cancer surgery and it feels like so long ago. It has also been 3 months from the follow up procedure to complete her recovery and those physical scars while fading and healing well do not compare to the mental healing she has done. I have primarily focused on my wife’s mental well-being because I think it is just as important as her physical healing and in many ways I think helps a person to recover.

In fact, her mother always used to say that she knew my wife was feeling better when she started yapping away. Tonight my wife was yapping away about all the plans she had for the next couple of weeks. Of course my telling her to slow down only turned into a mini-discussion in which I told my wife I was so proud of her comeback and the fact that she wanted to relieve me of my worries about her as well as her wanting to show me how she has learned to embrace life more than ever. Holding back a couple weeks should not preclude her from anything that life has left in store for her. It’s like keeping a stallion in the starting gates before a big race!

As I’ve said in the past, my wife is my current inspiration and like everyone I look for different kinds of inspiration physically and mentally all the time. Why is that? I just think that some points of inspiration lose their effectiveness after repetitive use. Sometimes its a song, its a person, its a story, but for me I am constantly in search of a new idea or passion to get me through that next high in life. My wife is learning the same.

She is now in her fourth month of her 36 month trial of monthly shots. I laughed and told her it is like making 36 monthly payments on a car. She gave me a wry smile. Sometimes my analogies make her just cringe. The good news this week is that she got the reports back that she is metabolizing the Tamoxifin very well which means that the drug is taking effect and hopefully the results will be good. The shots are actually for 3 years with the daily drugs taken for 5 years. Her oncologist says her results look good and that she feel comfortable in resuming many of her regular habits and live life. of course my wife’s first question….”Can I have wine?” I laughed, and the doctor, recognizing the humor said, “Moderation is good. Just make sure you make it worth your while.” In other words, don’t waste it on Two Buck Chuck (Charles Shaw, a $2 wine sold at Trader Joes).

Yes my wife is inspired by life in general at the moment and there is nothing more inspiring than to be around someone who really knows how to enjoy life. They shine, they don’t sweat the little things, they somehow don’t get distracted by the bad things, and they are always looking out for others who seem to be stuck. When you surround yourself with people who are living in the moment it can be magical. For the past few weeks I feel as though I’ve been walking around constantly with a light bulb over my head. My own energy is high and my pain is low. My exercise regimen that started just before her diagnosis is now at an all time high and each night my wife inspires me to keep running. The sun is definitely shining on her and within her. I’ll just soak in her rays and feel her warmth.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

A Beautiful Day

March 28, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“Touch me. Take me to that other place.” – U2 lyrics from “Beautiful Day”.

I don’t subscribe to the TGIF motto. My father always worked 6 days a week and played golf on the 7th. Fridays were never an extension of the weekend and he always told me that weekends are two days for the common man, 3 days for the lazy man and 1 day for the man who takes life seriously. I’ve felt that people who said TGIF were coasting on Fridays. Well now that I have a family the 1 day weekend is no longer in my repertoire but the 3 day weekend is not something I’ve ever longed for. Fridays to me are always my most efficient days.

Yesterday Friday took on that TGIF feeling. it was one of those warm mornings in San Francisco where you put the top down and turn up the music. What played? Yep, my CD Player happened to randomly select, U2’s Beautiful Day. Work started with an informal BizDev breakfast in San Francisco’s SouthPark . I like going here in the mornings to have a casual coffee and chat about different ideas and network with other industry players. South Park is modeled after an English neighborhood and was once the home to the first real neighborhood in San Francisco. It then became what has been termed “ground zero” of the dot-com revolution and is now considered to be a leading player in the Web 2.0 movement.

I try to take one or two good ideas out of this gathering each time, but Friday it spurred some great ideas after some conversations with some attendees. With these new light bulbs over my head I walked back to my office in the bright sunshine and got into work (still the first person into my office before 8am) with a bundle of energy and a load of caffeine in my body. Before I new it I had already taken action with my new plan and was seeing results. I love it when change can be affected just like that. The morning and the afternoon flew by and one of my conference calls turned into a great opportunity that I cannot wait to see implemented by one of our partners. It isn’t often these days when two companies put money aside and focuse on proper execution and that is what we are doing. Hopefully it will succeed and people will take notice by the results we achieve.

By the time 5:30 rolled around I was able to “blow out” of the office. 5:30 is early for me and I was still one of the last to leave. These Fridays I am motivated by the chance to pick up my son from his late Friday baseball practice. Especially on this beautiful Friday afternoon I laced up some tennis shoes and threw on my glove and walked into the middle of their practice. I don’t care what anyone says, but meeting your son on a playground after work on a beautiful Spring evening and having him come running up to you and giving you a big hug just warms your heart and brings a smile to your face. He just smiled his big smile and said, “hey dad, can we call mom and get a pizza for dinner?” (Sure, what the heck!). We tossed the ball around practicing his fielding and working on his batting swing. This is the American Dream, is it not? We stayed a little longer after practice and talked about our days. I don’t know if he thought my day was as exciting as his, but he pretended to be interested. We picked up a pizza and had a nice family dinner full of smiling faces and lots of great kid stories. My wife had helped out at our school fundraiser which includes a luncheon for the school moms. It is one of the events she looks forward to every year at the school and although she didn’t say it, I think she was glad that cancer hadn’t interrupted her ability to attend. The event includes a big plant and flower show and she picked up a plant for the other mom in our class who is recovering from her cancer surgery earlier this week. [As an aside, our thoughts were interrupted this week with the news and an email from another family friend who found out she has breast cancer and will be having surgery on Monday]. For our household, bedtime is easy. Friday night was a funny one as we take time for our kids to read to us and we read something of our choice to our kids. It is our way of bonding with them. As my daughter read to me on this evening i fell asleep next to her on the bed. The next thing I know, she’s poking me in the cheek, ‘Daddy, you going to kiss me or what?” Oh boy, when she gets older, the boys are going to be in trouble (and so am I trying to keep up with her)!

So how do I end a “Beautiful Day”? A little 5 mile workout to clear my mind and an early bed time to rest it. It was another great run with my body feeling relaxed on a warm night. It was a great day to reflect on. It might just be another day in the book of my life, but it will hopefully be a good chapter when all is said and done.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Running with Heart

March 27, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“I have learned that there is no failure in running, or in life, as long as you keep moving. It’s not about speed and gold medals. It’s about refusing to be stopped. You might find that one particular direction proves difficult, but there are many directions on a compass. Infinite, in fact. As long as you keep searching, you’ll find your way.” – Amby Burfoot, Executive Director of Runner’s World Magazine

This has been a long week, but not as bad as one would have thought it would be. It’s amazing what you can accomplish in a week. Surgery, dentist appointments, music concerts, fundraisers, gymnastics classes, baseball clinics, shopping at Target, and of course your normal 55-60 hour work week done.

Because of my wife’s surgery I did a lot of the normal morning chauffeuring and morning herding of the kids. I am so lucky to be blessed with really cool kids who understand the gravity of some of the things their parents are trying to accomplish and were really well-behaved. My 73 year old mother told me that she thought I had the coolest 9 year old and 7 year old. Of course that is a proud grandmother speaking. This is the same lady who laughed at me early on as a parent saying I was too strict. On Tuesday, the day after my wife’s surgery, I put the kids to bed and made sure my wife was settled in and comfortable before heading out to a concert. I was feeling a bit guilty about going to a concert the night after my wife’s surgery but she told me to get out and that she was okay. It was not just any concert, but my first Country music concert. My daughter asked me where I was going and with whom. When I told her that I was going with my best friend, Dave, my children asked, “What makes a Best Friend?” These questions get harder don’t they?

I told my children that the criteria for a best friend changes with age, but in the end the best friend is always there when you need them and sometimes when you don’t even know you need them. My friend Dave has done everything friends do. We’ve gone to concerts together. We played on the highschool basketball, swimming, track, and cross country swimming teams together, we drove long roadtrips together, we were each other’s best man, we’ve seen historic sporting events together, and we helped each other out when our fathers died. But now we are heads of our households and spending time together is few and far between. Now a best friend is someone you can call after not talking to them for a month and inviting them out of the house on a school night. Dave really is the best friend a guy could have. Dave is always honest and dependable, and when I’ve made mistakles in life that I’ve regretted he essentially put his arm around my shoulder and told me it was alright and to put it behind me. I remember his telling me for his bachelor party that he didn’t want me to do anything too crazy in case his legal career took off and he ran for public office someday. I never questioned it. Dave is that trustworthy and honest. If he ever did run for public office, his background would be as squeaky clean as you could possibly imagine.

When I called Dave and asked him if he wanted to go see a country music concert, he thought I was kidding. The last concert we had seen together was for Foreigner in the 80s and we went on a double date (we rubbed our shoulders as we reminisced about our dates sitting on our shoulders for a couple hours so that they could see). I told him I couldn’t take my wife and since his wife had been egging him to get out of the house anyway, off we went. We went to see Keith Urban, who to the non-country music set is married to actress, Nicole Kidman. He hadn’t even heard of Keith Urban but I convinced him that you haven’t really lived in San Francisco until you’ve been to the famed Fillmore Theater (The Fillmore). The Fillmore was a haven for 6os rock. The Who, Cream, Santana, Jefferson Airplane, and Hendrix all played there and now it is an honor for anyone to play there. The intimate setting with chandeliers and posters commemorating all the bands who have played there make it an ambiance like no other. Dave was in awe.

We thought it was cool that here we were, two 40 somethings surrounded by hundreds of teenage girls and their mothers. We were definitely not in our element for this particular show, but we laughed at the irony of the situation as we were probably two of the older people there and needless to say we were probably the only two who didn’t know the words to every song. We did take mental notes on whether this was the kind of event we could see our children at in 10 years ( as I watched the 3 “Tweenage” girls scream in front of me and blow kisses I wondered where their parents were and envisoned my daughter begging me to go to a concert like this on a school night). Seriously though we were able to catch up with each other and check on each other’s condition, our wives, our kids, work , and our other friends. We laughed and said that we needed to start getting out more often. The concert actually wasn’t half bad and we were quite impressed by Keith Urban’s guitar play as you can see in the following videos:

The concert was part of a VIP secret concert series in intimate settings to help promote his upcoming album.Although it was a concert on a weeknight, Dave and I agreed that it was a pleasant distraction and we were both recharged and ready for the week. I even got home and went for a run to clear my thoughts. Although it was 11pm I ran longer than normal. The concert had filled my head with many thoughts and hanging with Dave brought many memories. I started to vividly remember the long talks we’d have about what we wanted out of our careers on the long drives back and forth between Northern and Southern California suring our college years. The life paths we’ve taken aren’t exactly the ones we dictated to each other but we had found different roads to get there and had pushed until we found our way. Along the way I passed my neighbor Dean Karnazes (Karno) in the darkness of the night. I didn’t acknowledge him as we passed each other as he was deep in thought as well.

Karno is one of my inspirations although he doesn’t know it directly. As one of the greatest endurance runners ever, he’ll be the one to tell you that running is his therapy and where he gets piece of mind. He says the greatest words he ever got were from his high school track teacher, “Run with heart.” His runs are not about speed but about mind over body. Tonight I did as he says he likes to do and ran past his destination just because I felt good. My mind just turned off and I ran and ran. I dedicated tonight’s 6 mile run to my wife. She continues to amaze me. More beautiful and radiant than ever, her surgery on Monday barely stopped her. She didn’t even have to take her pain fighting Vicodin pills and was already off running good deeds for others like the other mother in our class who is at home recovering from breast cancer. If you don”t believe that breast cancer can create a community, you’ve never seen this sisterhood.

Still, I’ve had to intercept her on a couple of occasions this week to have her stop exerting herself. She is learning to run with heart as well, but she can ease into it as far as I’m concerned. I have to remind her time and again that the road is still long. I think she is just now discovering what it means to give back and enjoy life but she needs to pace herself.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Back in a Familiar Place

March 23, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.”

-Brian Tracy

So here I am again waiting in the 3rd floor waiting room of the UCSF Mt. Zion cancer clinic as my wife goes into surgery for the third time in 6 months. It is a very familiar place although it has memories that I’d rather forget. Yes it is a bit easier and the procedure (that is what we call it for children so as not to alarm them) is less serious than the first two. When my wife was first diagnosed with cancer almost 8 months ago I never imagined the path we’d take and where we are today while better than possibly imagined is not one of the many scenarios that ever ran through my head. We’ve learned to appreciate what life has given us and to that we can’t control everything.

The venue and many of the faces are still the same here at the hospital although some things have changed or at least the first two times I was too distracted to worry about. Over in one corner of the waiting room is a wife (I think) who is trying to hold back her tears. She looks as if she is in her 70s or so and is elegantly dressed with a hat ( this should be definitely designated as a chapeau). She has a lot of makeup on and you can tell she was raised in an era and with parents who told her that if she were to go out, she always needed to dress to impress. Everyone else is sitting in here talking on cell phones and updating their loved ones, reading outdated magazines or sleeping upright waiting for their name to be called. Of note is that Lance Armstrong and His Ride for Hope took a serious spill today as he broke his collar bone in a fall. Also, the television overhead in the waiting room is showing photos of Liam Neeson and his two teenage sons at the funeral of their wife and mother, actress Natasha Richardson. The grief and sorrow are the images I had imagined for myself 6 months ago. As I said, you just don’t know what direction life is going to point you. You just have to take it as it comes sometimes.

As we walked into the hospital a couple hours ago I noticed we both had a bit of a smile on our faces. We even joked a little with the admissions staff. But what made it even more noticeable was that we ran into one of the other mom’s from our kid’s school who was just coming down from her pre-op appointment before her breast cancer surgery tomorrow. The two mom’s hugged and I shook the husband’s hand. Very quiet and private people (he’s a physician himself) we could see their worry and concern on their faces. We kept the conversation brief and wished each other luck as we needed to stay on time. My wife even had a moment to discuss a play date for our two sons in the next week while she rested. How odd is that? My wife and I got up to the room and talked about the chance meeting. “That was us 6 months ago”. The other couple noted that this was our third time through and mentioned how they hope this would be their only surgery. We only hope that we showed a positive attitude and a good outlook in the face of surgery.

That is what it is about, isn’t it? A positive outlook? Last night my wife even asked for a hall pass to get out and have a drink and chat with a girlfriend. I said of course. I mean how many other women go out and do that the night before their surgery. The first two times my wife needed Ativan to calm her nerves and get to sleep. This time she was ready and not worried. I almost forgot she was having surgery when I woke up this morning.

Speaking of positive outlooks we were talking about the short term memory of our own son. He had a bad offensive game the day before with the “hat trick” (three strikeouts) in his first little league game this season. Although just 9 he is playing with 11 year olds twice his size and at least held his own defensively. Other kids out there were crying when they missed a ball and we were worried that our own son was going to be deflated. After the game I asked how he felt. “Hungry”, was his response. And after another pause he smiled, “Don’t worry dad, I’m not going to strike out everytime.” I laughed and he smiled back. Here I was worried about him and he was telling me not to worry. I can’t wait til he’s 30 and able to take care of me and tell me not to worry.

Has it been 6 months? Yep. The timeline:

Breast Cancer Diagnosis: 7/27/08

Bilateral Skin Sparing Mastectomy: 9/9/08

Beginning of clinical Trial: 12/1/08

Exchange Surgery: 12/12/08

Revision Surgery: 3/23/09

It seems like it has been a long time but 6 months really have just vanished from our lives. At the same time our love has grown enormously and so has the maturity of our children. Even moreso as a couple, our respect for life and the people we meet in life’s journey has grown. We can only hope to enrich our lives by challenging it, embracing it and finding joy whenever it is presented to us.

Thanks to modern medicine we’ll be able to continue this journey in a couple days. I think it is amazing that within 24 hours after I get my wife home, she should be back to normal. She’ll be stiff with limited mobility, but most importantly she’ll be here for our children, for me and for her friends.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

A Little Spring In Our Step

March 21, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“Spring is Nature’s way of saying, “Let’s Party” – Robin Williams, comedian

The first day of spring and hope was in the air. It is always a day where I start to see hope for people (of course the stock market took a bit of a hit yeesterday after a rally so not all is good). More importantly personally we waited for my wife’s results from her BRCA test. This test is to see if my wife has an abnormal BRCA gene which indicates a higher probability of having ovarian cancer. It has been found that those who have breast cancer and the BRCA are more likely to have ovarian cancer.

The average woman (without an inherited breast cancer gene abnormality) in the United States has about a 12% risk of developing breast cancer over a 90-year life span. In contrast, women who have an abnormal BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene have up to an 85% risk of developing breast cancer by age 70. Women with BRCA1 and BRCA2 abnormalities are also at increased risk of developing ovarian cancer. The lifetime risk is about 55% for women with BRCA1 mutations and about 25% for women with BRCA2 mutations. By comparison, about 1.8% of women without an inherited BRCA abnormality get ovarian cancer. The risk for certain other cancers may also be higher with BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutations. But these risk increases (for cancers such skin or digestive tract) are much lower than the increases in risk for breast and ovarian cancer.

This cloud has been hanging over our heads since last July, but obviously the figth with breast cancer came first. The thought of another surgery (given that we are having revision surgery on Monday) just isn’t something we wanted to consider right now. Well the results came and my wife is negative which is a relief and slightly expected since her mother was negative. It is quite possible though that since my mother had cancer that I could have pass it along to my daughter but we can’t test her until she is old enough and the oncologists said that she doesn’t need to be tested until she is 30 or so. Amazingly we shared the news via phone, talked about it for 2 minutes and then went back about our business. No celebrating, no hugs, no kisses. Just another hurdle that we’ve met and jumped over without incident. No doubt though, this was a big deal. Nobody wants to mess with their ovaries in their 40s. My mother-in-law had hers taken out in her 50s and I think psychologically it is a tough transition and although she is fine and have never really talked to her about it, it is something that affects you more mentally than physically. I know my wife was not wanting to follow that route.

We even remarked at here we are concerned about cancer and how in current events today, Natasha Richardson, a beautiful actress our age could have an innocent fall and one day later be lost to her family. People always say. “What if you got hit by a truck tomorrow…”. Well this is just one more reason to focus on living life to the fullest and not worry about every detail.

So with that Spring in our step I took the time to get out for a walk for lunch yesterday. A beautiful day for San Francisco with crisp clear skies, I sucked in the air, walked by the Martin Luther King Memorial fountain and pool in Yerba Buena Gardens where people were sunbathing, and read his quotes about his dreams. I passed by two Japanese tourists with matching “Have a Nice Day” T-shirts with those yellow Happy faces.

For those who remember the 70’s a vision of the ubiquitous yellow “happy face” is burned into memory. From every direction this cheerful circular icon extolled us to “have a nice day” and none of us was curmudgeonly enough to not strive for compliance. Along with “Hey the Fonz”, my OJ Simpson football jersey, my Willie Mays jersey and my Farrah Fawcett t-shirt, my “Have a Nice Day” t-shirt was part of my t-shirt rotation that I wore every day after tearing off my school uniform. I was even part of the lunchbag brigade that had white lunchbags with the yellow smiley face which read “HAND” (Have A Nice Day). Instead of the graffiti we see today, you saw Yello Smiley face stickers everywhere. You couldn’t escape it. My dad loved those lunch bags.

After a while they started having different sayings on those lunch bags and then it started getting expensive to just buy those lunch bags. Eventually my parents got economical (or cheap) and started going to brown paper bags for lunch that they’d expect me to use at least 10 times before they would retire it. Every night my dad would write a new saying on the bag. Something inspirational , but mostly something that our friends would snicker at like: “Take care of your body”, “Listen to your teachers”, “Share with your friends” or “Be humble as pie”. Needless to say, we’d hide our lunch bags from the view of our classmates, but once they knew it was all over. As funny or corny as it was, I obviously remember it fondly and maybe it is something I should do with my children by leaving a little message for them each day. Just seeing my daughter roll her eyes or seeing the funny smirk on my son’s face as he reads each message will be priceless.

Yes, hope springs eternal and the first days of Spring not only bring new energy and new dreams, but remind us of old ones that we need to renew.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

March Madness – The Human Spirit

March 18, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? And I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it. –
Jim Valvano, ex-coach NC State and founder of the V Foundation

Before I begin with today’s post, please indulge me for a second. In a continuation of yesterday’s post I was hit, by one of the new employees at my company with the question of “Where do you get your dry cleaning done?” I told her that we lived far apart and that my dry cleaner, despite the “secret Chinese discount” she offers me would not be worth the 5 mile drive for $1 per shirt. She looked at me stunned and told me she pays $6 per shirt for her “Green Cleaners” $6 per shirt!!! Are you kidding?!! The only thing green about that is the money laundering they are doing there!!! I’d rather throw out the shirt and buy a new one!

Has this world gone mad? I promise not to go on an AIG tirade. It serves no purpose.

Of course this time of year is when American sports fans go crazy with their college basketball brackets. I’m no different ever since my high school chemistry teacher got us hooked. It became more of an addiction when my wife went to business school at Duke University which along with UNC combine to make March Madness an annual tradition.

The pageantry and the emotional ups and downs of each year though pale in comparison to the lifelong lessons that have come out of this Men’s basketball Tournament. While Duke, UNC, Kansas, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisville and UCLA have combined to win 37 of the 70 championships, to me nothing has defined March Madness and the popularity of the tournament as the stories about those underdogs and especially those underdogs who showed us what heart and emotion can bring to any situation.

The quote for today’s blog comes from Jim Valvano, the coach of the 1983 Championship which many will claim was one of the two greatest upsets in NCAA Championship game history (the Villanova perfect game against Georgetown being the other). More memorable than the dramatic last second victory was Jim Valvano’s crazy celebration and then 10 year’s later his speech at the ESPY awards as he battled cancer. The quote above was once of his many quotes from that evening and in his speeches that he made up until his death.

To me. equally inspirational was the story of Hank Gathers and Bo Kimble, two young men from Philadelphia who transferred to Loyola-Marymount in Los Angeles and made them into a one-time wonder. In 1990, Hank Gathers died from an abnormal heart condition during the teams last game of the season. The team was still given a birth in the tournament and with a heavy heart Bo Kimble led his team to the regional finals with the spirit of fans everywhere behind them. Bo shot free throws left handed in honor of his childhood friend who was left handed and made upset after upset victory until they were eventually eliminated by the eventual champion, UNLV.

So while many may look at this tournament as just another result of sports crazy hysteria in the US. I look at it for stories of the human spirit. I don’t know if I will find anything new, but you never know. The stories of everlasting friendship and courage in the face of death would be hard to beat.

Some may say that I am over-extending the meaning of what this tournament represents, but it is what it is for me.

Today we met some new friends (they are actually old friends that we met online) and what might have looked like a casual meeting was really more than that. We met another couple we befriended through an online breast cancer forum. They have gone through much of what we have gone through with the same physicians but about 15 months ahead of my wife. After meeting for lunch I had a brief chat with my wife. She remarked at how happy they looked and I agreed. While we didn’t discuss it I could see that my wife was making a mental note. She asked me again how far ahead of her surgery they were in terms of time and noted that timeline would put us somewhere around August 2010. Her mind was racing there. For her it wasn’t the mental model but the physical model and goal of where she will be heading.

For me, this is the most wonderful time of the year. March Madness, the Masters, and baseball is beginning. Yes, my spirit sure is being lifted. March Madness means different things to every one of us, but as long as it means something, that’s good! Just have a dream and a goal.