Category Archives: Route 53 – Life is A Highway

Just ramblings about my everyday life. I often wonder if other people think these things too. Some day my children can read these thoughts and maybe the will say, “Hmm, so that is what dad was really thinking” or, “At least I would know what dad would do if he were in my situation”

Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Save Us San Francisco

November 13, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 1 Comment

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you’re here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I’m lost something tells me you’re here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

– Pat Monahan, Train

I was at a concert recently where the group, Train, which was formed in San Francisco, played from their new album, Save Me San Francisco. I thought it an interesting title given that they have to play in about 50 other cities on their tour and I doubt they would tell people how, “Chicago is great, but we’re here to tell you about San Francisco”.

I admit that I have had a lifelong love affair with San Francisco. Fortunate to have been born here and even more fortunate to still work and have a family here, I try not to take it for granted. Even my wife who is from the East Coast finally has broken down and said this is the perfect place to have settled. “It has soul. It has character, ” she once told me. She’s right. But it isn’t just the City. It’s the people too.

Now don’t get me wrong. Having spent years working in Chicago and New York and various other cities, I love those cities for many of their merits as well. And the people there are so real and loveable in their own way and sometimes even more loveable than San Francisco. I’m sure everyone feels that way about where they are from, so excuse me while I gloat. After all, Conde Nast Traveler’s reader poll did say that San Francisco is the best place in America, so they can’t be that wrong, could they?

Yes San Francisco has it’s Golden Gate, it’s nearby Napa wine country, and the beautiful Pacific coastline, but like every beautiful painting or landscape, the object of your desire has to have depth which keeps you coming back for more. It has to engage you, frustrate you, encourage you, entertain you, and most of all, leave you breathless in amazement as you look back over your shoulder as to what you have been through. For me, San Francisco has always been “all points pointing west” whenever I look for that solution.

Maybe there really is something magical about San Francisco. For my whole life I’ve known people who have moved to this city I call home. They come here to find themselves, to discover acceptance for who they are, or just to begin again. In the 1800s there was the Gold Rush, in the 1960s it was the hippies and free love. Today it is still for the technology as well as an alternative style of living.

As a native, I’m not looking for much of the new so much that I am looking to have more of the same and in some way to revisit those things which I’ve enjoyed so much about the past, and some recent small events have gotten me to thinking about those healing powers of the City once called by Herb Caen, Baghdad by the Bay. They might not mean anything individually, but together in reflection they do.

A few weeks back on the golf course in the 56th Northern California Family Golf Championships with my son. The tournament is one that I started playing with my own dad when I was in high school. It was my way of getting closer to my dad doing something he enjoyed. We played many times and it wasn’t until my early 20s that we finally took home a trophy for our flight. I still remember that hug and that smile and laugh my dad gave me when he won, “We did it,” he exclaimed. It was an aw-shucks kind of smile, but it wasn’t until now that I realized he really did enjoy it as much as I did.

With the shoes reversed some 20 years later, I became overwhelmed with a sense of deja vu. I kept looking at my son and remembering all the great times I had in this tournament with his grandfather. Back then I did it to be closer with my dad and I always felt it was for me. But as we advanced each round in this tournament this year I realized how much I was getting out of this and just relished the moments spent with my son to just talk about life, learning to relax, and to tell him no matter what happened, how proud I am of him. It wasn’t just me. Many of the other teams were multi-generation San Franciscans who had played the tournament as youngsters and now were playing with their own children. Such a cool event and yet, such a personal and life building experience.

Soccer Saturdays was not something I had growing up. Anyone who has children these days knows what it means to be a soccer parent. You spend your days as a chauffeur and snack coordinator. In San Francisco it has been a chance for me to see old high school friends, cousins and classmates who have children the same age. Having the time to talk about old times and fins out about old friends has become a weekly ritual. It just makes you realize how small this City is.

Now getting back to the Train concert, I took my wife and my best friend from high school to see Train at the reknowned Fillmore concert hall (http://www.thefillmore.com), one of those temples of music that has so much hisotry in it (more on this later). Train inspired this posting as they were formed in San Francisco, disbanded for solo careers and just recently moved back to San Francisco to start recording together. They told the story of how although none of them were originally from the area, they felt as though the City had saved them twice. First by bringing them together and then, bringing them back together again. They went through a myriad of songs all about California and San Francisco that left the 3 of us so happy that we went and so proud of the city we call home.

A few weeks later I got a message that one of my childhood elementary school classmates had passed away. We weren’t close, but I saw the grieving that many of those classmates felt. Although our friend died early and a rough life was pretty much the cause of death, that did not matter to us. The outpouring of grief and emotion turned into a beautiful private vigil at San Francisco’s Ocean Beach at sunset. Suddenly the 76 classmates were now back in touch some 30 years later, brought together by the death of one of our own. It makes me wonder if our friend realized how much she was loved and will be missed by so many and by those who she might not have seen in so long. My wife thought it very interesting and touching that our community was that tight. I reminded her and our children ( they go to the same school my brothers and sister and I went to) that history repeats itself and that some day our children might be out there grieving for one of their classmates.

In getting our classmates together I even had the opportunity to go out to a restaurant owned by one of our firends. He even comped us a great meal (http://www.betelnutrestaurant.com). Afterwards we went to the Fillmore to see a small artist named Mat Kearney. It turns out that Mat’s parents have a lot of history in San Francisco and were in attendance. They were flower children who met in San Francisco in the ’50s while working in a diner as a waitress and a chef. Although they hade very little money they were able to see a few concerts at the Fillmore and claimed their favorites were Jimmy Hendrix and Bob Dylan. Well now they have to add their son to that list which has brought their lives back to San Francisco full circle. I love little stories like that.

Yes, San Francisco has its mysterious charm and I’m sure it has healing powers for whatever it is that ails you or those around you..Los Angeles may have its Palm Trees and beautiful people, New York might have Wall St., and all the nightlife you could want, Chicago has great food and spirit, but San Francisco simply has the “it” factor that attracts and rewards those who embrace it.

Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

The Z-Man

October 22, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“The payment for me has always been in the doing. I didn’t get into [photography] for a job.” – Michael Zagaris, Photographer

With the Z-man before a recent 49er game

Michael Zagaris is not a household name and many might not even ever consider him to be a celebrity. Affectionately known as “The Z-man”, Michael is not just a photographer, but he’s a historian. Anyone who has lived in San Francisco in the past 50 years has seen his work and appreciated his ability to “capture the moment” although they might not even know who he is. He’s one of them. Politically active, fiercely independent and living and brieathing a job that he’s passionate about, Michael embodies the heart and soul of what living in San Francisco is about for most people. Michael moved here after his first passion failed him. Michael wanted to be a politician and was working on Capital Hill until the fateful day when Bobby Kennedy was shot. “I was right there behind him” , he has told many. In fact he has photos (then a hobby) of the Kennedys playing football in their back yard. In fact, although lean and in good shape, Michael was at one time a college football player and aspiring football player (let’s just say he would not have been anything like Gerald Ford).

To appreciate Michael’s breadth of work one needs not necessarily look at his work as art, but as a portfolio of photos that tell a story. Michael’s photos are a combination of his relationship to his subject matter and his ability to put you there with him. At a 49er football game last week, my son poked me in the side and said look, there’s Michael waving at you. People around me laughed thinking that I was waving at the 49er cheerleaders, which wouldn’t have been bad either, but it was nice waving at an artist who has captured the imagery of my youth. Today, Michael is the official team photographer for the San Francisco 49ers and the Oakland A’s. You see, any sports fan, especially one from the San Francisco Bay Area would consider him to be the guy who has a dream job. On this day, the 49ers feted their original owner, Eddie DeBartolo, who saved the team and fans from misery and created a 5-Super Bowl dynasty during a halftime ceremony. Watching that ceremony is all you needed to know about Michael. Watching Eddie DeBartolo, come out, Michael started to take his photo but this multi-millionaire future Hall of Famer signaled for him to stop and hugged him first. This was followed by hugs with Ronnie Lott, Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, Hall of Famers and celebrities in their own right. That’s Michael. A friend first, historian and photographer second. His photos touch your soul and each person tells their own story of their recollection of that era when they look at his photos.

Like the great San Francisco Pulitzer Prize winning columnist, Herb Caen, Michael has captured the aura surrounding some of San Francisco’s greatest moments. Whether it was covering the great hippie culture and music scene of the 60s-70s in San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury, the great 49er dynasty of the ’80s or the Oakland A’s and the beginning of the steroid era of baseball in the late 80s and early 90s, Michael took you right there and showed you his unique perspective.

You see, Michael can give you the classic baseball card photo of a guy holding his bat and smiling, but he has an all-acess pass that shows you that same guy after throwing a 100 pitches and grimacing as they pour ice over his sore shoulder. On his kitchen table I found piles of photos he had just taken for the Oaklan A’s professional baseball team. I have no idea how he organizes them, so I didn’t sort through them too hard and obvioulsy was not too concerned with the subject. “Ah, a Giants fan”, he said. He nodded as we both knew what we were thinking. The 1989 World Series between the Oakland A’s and San Francisco Giants interrupted by the Loma Prieta earthquake which became more famous than the players who played in that series.

Sitting at his coffee table of his apartment just around the corner from Haight and Ashbury, Michael let me thumb through his archives. Just like a bookworm who might have books sitting in piles from the floor to ceiling, Michael has rows of mounted photos leaned up against the wall waiting for someone to come along and hang them up (Divorced from the mother of his grown son, Michael had just broken up with his girlfriend and asked me if I knew any hip women. I did recommend a friend but that is another story). Michael hands me one photo after I tell him I was a big Madonna fan and shows me the classic photo of Madonna from her 1990 Blond Ambition tour with her Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra that set a fashion trend for a couple years.

Michael, a historian was writing about English Rock’n’Roll when Eric Clapton noticed his hobby and told him he had real talent. From there Michael became linked to icons Roger Daltrey, Peter Frampton and Mick Jagger. He’s was added to their inner sanctum. As he rummages around a pile of photos scattered around the floor he throws in front of me a photo of Rick James….I look at him . “It’s Rick James, Bitch”, he says in his best Dave Chapelle impersonation. Rick James is leaning over a rock along the San Francisco Bay and snorting cocaine. He laughs and tells me a story about how he was going to do a cover shot for Rolling Stone Magazine when Rick James invited him to do some drugs. Well Michael in his convincing way somehow convinced a somewhat non-compliant Rick James to get outside and take a few photos. I can just see it. He has numerous photos around that tell stories. Stories that have never been told.

On my way out of his place we talk briefly about his marriage to a top model, the mother of his acting son who lives in LA. His son’s room is a shrine of baseball bobbleheads. It is the neatest room in this Upper Haight flat. He reminds me to let him know if I know of any women who would be looking for companionship. Michael is so cool. I don’t think I know of a single woman out there who could appreciate this eccentric visual historian of some of San Francisco’s most charming and colorful history.

Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Solidarity in Death and Love

October 14, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 1 Comment

“Funerals and deaths are the departed’s message to remind us to go out and live life” – The Very Reverend Alan Jones, Grace Cathedral

It has taken me a day to settle down from my harrowing plane flight. I’m not afraid of flying, but flying in the high winds that hit the West Coast of the US yesterday was not a joy ride I enjoyed. I was sitting there in seat 12F mentally writing my own obituary about how I was rushing back to Northern California to my cousin’s funeral, my second of the week, when my plane went down in the SF Bay. It was one of those flights where you hear that whistle. You know the sound. It’s the one you hear in the movies where the plane makes that soaring screech before it hits the ground? We had to abort our landing twice as our captain told us that the wind shears were too violent to provide us with a predictable path to the runway. Inside the plane, we slammed against each other with each turbulent drop and rise of our plane, trying not to act worried. The woman next to me grabbed my arm subconsciously and I didn’t even want to look at her for fear I’d get scared too. I tried to distract myself with the newspaper only to read about the great confidence we should have in the pilots of today, an article about Chesley Sullenberger, a local hero, and someone you would have wanted at the helm of our plane yesterday. We eventually landed and everyone rushed to the men’s room full of relieved tension. Even the pilot came rushing in to a bunch of smiling and relieved faces.

The quote for this post is a thought provoking one from the Reverend who presided over my first funeral I attended this week. I just wish I didn’t need these reminders. Seriously, so far two funerals for dads under the age of 55 this week and I get the message. I get it , I get it, I get it. I sat there yesterday listening to my son’s classmate singing “100 Years” by 5 for Fighting and I just about lost it. I could not see my son singing next to my casket like that. Every other dad in the church must have been thinking the same thing. I looked around and I’m sure people were thinking “That could be me”.

I stopped myself as I asked myself if I would rather have more time to plan my death or go quickly in my sleep. What? I can’t live life like that. I need to live life every day for the sake of happiness. As soon as these recent deaths came in fast sequence last week we didn’t need to say anything. My wife knew how I was feeling, “There is solidarity and certainty in death. We’ll all die some day, but let’s not live to die, but live to live well”. For the first time I can ever remember, my kids came to visit me at work and all of us went out for lunch. Just so nice to see your family together to break up the day. It was just the beginning to the start of a great family weekend.

Saturday was our normal soccer Saturday as a family followed by the President’s Cupgolf tournament. The President’s Cup was chilly but a great way to see the best golfers in the world in an intimate setting on our local home course. Golf is unique because of how close you get to the players and the fact that you are actually walking around on the playing surface with them, not like most sports where they look like gladiators in a pit.

My 7-year old daughter doesn’t play golf yet, but I loved it on Sunday night when we ask everyone in our home what was their favorite part of the weekend and she chose to say that seeing Tiger Woods in person while snuggling close together as a family sipping hot cocoa was the best.

Sunday was followed by early morning Little League baseball again on a cold and blustery day. It was another coffee and cocoa morning. The evening was finished with a trip to see Star Wars in Concert. This was my son’s favorite event as he got to see all the costumes from the movies and watch the movies unfold to an orchestra which played the famous score that won many accolades and the Academy Award. Seeing his eyes light up and his feet tapping to the music reminded me of myself at his age. My wife and I caught each other watching our son and smiled that knowing smile that he was having a good time and enjoying himself. It was a long day, but he was so excited to watch that he didn’t want to take a break to get food because he didn’t want to miss a thing.

Yes, the Reverend Alan Jones was right in saying that funerals and death bring us together to reflect and remember on those who have left us and to help celebrate their lives. He was also very right in saying that love binds us too. Spending a wonderful weekend with my family and exposing my children to some great experiences that they will never forget is something I will always cherish. It is love and great times spent together which bind a family in experience and spirit. It is those pleasant memories which we will use to grow and to help us remember the best of times at the worst of times… like when we are sitting on a plane with some crazy stranger grabbing on to your arm so tight.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Celebrity Sightings, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

A Brand New Day – Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October 9, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

Been a bit since I posted thoughts here. A lot has been going on in life so it is good to capture these thoughts now. I have been inundated with life events that have put me in a very pensive mood about what where I’ve been, where I am and where I am going in life. After these last two weeks, today is defintiely a Brand New Day.

When I arrived home yesterday I saw the biggest smile on my wife’s face. To be welcomed by a big kiss a day after coming home to find that I lost a close relative to a heart attack was definitely a good pick me up. This may be the beginning of a brand new day on our journey with cancer. My wife’s joy was from her follow up post-op appointment with her surgeon. I think her doctors were also relieved to see her smiling as well as she said that they all gave her big hugs. Yes, my wife was her usual “chatty Cathy” self again, and that meant all was really well. It just dawned on me that it had been over 18 months since I had seen that excitement on her face. I had missed her “text” message in which she had told me how happy she was. She had been in good spirits, mind you, but this was just different. Some say our journey of survivorship is over, but I think when we look back it has only just begun.

One of the things that I didn’t know would affect me so much is the way Breast Cancer Awareness has grown so much. Last year when my wife was just starting her battle we might have missed all of the action, but this year we both seem to be more aware of how powerful a movement Breast Cancer Awareness month really is. I felt like every week there was a walk or run for breast cancer and I did notice a lot of products in the grocery store when purchased gave back to some breast cancer research fund.

Ingrid Michaelson sang for Breast Cancer at Slide

For example, Ingrid Michaelson, pictured above, sang at a local club last night here in San Francisco with proceed donations at the door going to Breast Cancer Organizations in the Bay Area. The song “Be Okay” has become a feature song in the fight against breast cancer. She was also part of the Hotel Cafe Tour last year in which the album, Winter Songs, gave $.50 for each sale to breast cancer research.

SF 49er Cheerleaders wear pink tops for breast cancer

This past weekend, all of the NFL paid homage to breast cancer and its survivors. At the 49er game, donations were taken at the gate, referees wore pink, cheerleaders wore pink and players wore pink. Before the game, 50 breast cancer survivors were introduced to the players. One of the captains, 49ers QB, Shaun Hill, who wore pink cleats during the game, met with the survivors. He was later quoted as saying how he had put on the pink cleats without thinking. He didn’t know anyone with breast cancer, but when he met these women and saw the spirit in their eyes he said it suddenly became real to him and the shoes meant something. He said it even rattled him a bit before the game started.

Zach Johnson, PGA Tour Pro, sports pink ribbon at President's Cup

And just yesterday I was at the President’s Cup. Nothing formal was done around Breast Cancer Awareness but a couple of the US players, notably Phil Mickelson and Master’s Champion, Zach Johnson, wore pink ribbons. Phil’s wife Amy, a native of Northern California, is currently battling breast cancer. What was readily apparent was that Phil made a point of saying hello and stopping for a second to speak with every person who wore a notably pink cap or ribbon to stop and sign an autograph. Several elderly women who wore Susan G. Komen shirts were startled as he stopped to say hello and give them each a hug. It didn’t go unnoticed by me or any of the thousands of spectators who saw this connection and warmth he exhibited especially when compared to other golfers who whisked right by the crowd without any kind of acknowledgement to the screaming fans.

So what does this mean? To me it is just the sign of how powerful a community of similarity around a single cause can be. I wish the same thing could be done around heart disease. Just like the push for a mammogram, perhaps everyone should get an EKG. With the obese population we have and the number of people who die of heart attacks each year, why shouldn’t we all get one. I probably need one and my cousin who passed away in his early 50s in his sleep earlier this week could have used one. I bet his 3 teenage children and wife wish that he could have had one.

My son with the NFL ref sporting pink wristbands and ribbon

These events when they hit so close to home just make me think more about my life in so many ways. What was the last thing I did with my cousin? Gave him a High-5 and a hug at the 49ers home opener. How good does that make me feel? It helps me feel like my peace with my cousin is there. It reminded me that when you see someone make sure you leave a good impression with them until you see them again and to remember that smile until the next time you see them. My cousin and his wife and family are models to me of where I will be in 10 years. I can’t help but see that in 10 years I don’t want my heart to fail on my own children and leave them fatherless as they just get started with their lives. It is sad though. My cousin was my 10 year barometer in life. His death to me is a kick start to remind myself to do as much as I can to spend quality time with my children and really make sure they know me and my wishes for them. My life is an open book to them. No secrets. My fears and hopes and dreams are there for them to inspect.

My cousin and his wife were the first people we told on my father’s side of the family when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and they were the first to help out. My wife and I are beside ourselves about how lucky and fortunate we are to be winning the battle against breast cancer a year later at the same time we are seeing people who seemed so healthy leave us behind. There is no rhyme or reason it seems.

NFL All-Pro LB Patrick Willis sports his pink gloves and cleats

Finally, my son’s classmate’s dad finally lost his battle with pancreatic cancer earlier this week as well. Yes I feel like signs of my life area ll around me. Watching another dad with similar age children leave behind a wife to take care of a 10 and 7 year old is just so sad. When first diagnosed he told me how his main goal was to fight the cancer as long as he could but he knew he couldn’t win in the long run and thus his other goal was to impart enough of his thoughts on life to his two sons so that they’d have something to guide them. Watching the 10 year old this week, his father did a good job in preparing him for the inevitable day. Sad that it has to be at such a young age though for such a good kid.

So where do I go from here? As I said, it’s a brand new day. We can only go forward, live life to it’s fullest and make sure we taste every experience we can get and share it with everyone in such a way that we have an impact on those who might have to be reminded or forget the power of the human spirit.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Tales from the Waiting Room

September 28, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 4 Comments

BreastCancerSymbol

Okay, 4th time in a surgery waiting room in 13 months. It is one of the worst places to wait. Whomever said misery loves company was absolutely wrong. Today is even worse as I wait because the room is packed and the angst on the faces of the family just put a damper on my mood. People are talking loudly on the phone, sobbing uncontrollably, pacing over the zig zag rug pattern, or even joking with each other. Emotions run high and all of these people are just coping with their fear and worries with different strategies. Me? I’m here blogging this as two people argue over what we should all watch on the television. I think we are settling on re-runs of Friends. Appropriate, I guess.

Maybe my wife and are used to this or maybe even numb as we had to somehow already get through the day until her 4:30 surgery. Not as difficult as her past 3 surgeries I think my wife and I are good at distracting ourselves. I came home to find my wife had baked blueberry and muffins for our kids, planned out the pick-up schedule after school for the week and arranged a couple play dates. My mother and I looked at each other and chuckled. My own mother who had breast cancer told my wife she is probably the only person on this planet who baked before her mastoplexy on an empty stomach.

This never is easy though. My wife’s doctors always give me a time that is less than it is. A 6 hour surgery turns into 8, a 7 hour surgery turns into 9, a 2 hour surgery turns into 5 and already today’s one hour surgery is over 2 hours old. Every time the double doors to the surgery room open, everyone jumps up with an expectation it is their surgeon. I think sitting here alone with my computer is the best thing. Most of the anger is geared towards other family members about getting something to eat or drink.

It does make me appreciate my wife though more and more each time. These hours alone make you appreciate what you love about that person in the operating room. It isn’t just about hoping that they get out out the surgery okay, but about how much you love them, what they do for you, what you want to do with them and more. As I left for the hospital I thought I’d confess to my son that his mom was having surgery. He knew and I told him his mother would be okay. He casually said, “I figured”. I wanted to hug him but he just smiled and went up to do his homework. If he only knew how worried his dad is about his mother.

Well, I don’t think I can wait much longer. I need to go eat and move my car out of the garage….oops there she goes off to the recovery room. Doctor said she is good. Time to get dinner! Gotta get out of this depression chamber.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Foghorns, 49ers, and Fall

September 22, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

Life is a roller coaster ride
Time turns the wheel and love collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
So shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride

– Lyrics to “The Ride” by Martina McBride

Kicking off a New Season in San Francisco

Today is officially the last day of summer and the first day of Fall. A beautiful time for me and a wonderful time in San Francisco. I believe if Mark Twain had stayed for the Fall, his famous quote would have read, “The coldest Winter I ever spent was the Summer I spent in San Francisco, but the warmth of its Fall Sunny Days and Foggy nights give the city it’s charm the makes it so beautiful.”

This is now the time to enjoy its 40 hills, its 49 square mile (some say its officially47) and some of its over 3000 wonderful restaurants. Tourists are gone, the weather is at its best, and if you want to venture up to the Napa wine country, it is time to see the Fall crush of the grapes which many say is the best time to visit.

Someone asked me recently, “What is with the midnight runs?” They really aren’t at midnight, but I have to admit they are later than most people run. They are also somewhat of a sore point with my wife as she doesn’t like my running in dark clothes with no identification on me. The truth of the matter is that while I am running sparsely populated streets at night, I do run a pretty regular route, I run on sidewalks and even some of the parking valets around know my schedule well enough to tell me if I’m running late, early or slow. Last night I was even able to tell the valets at Spruce Restaurant the score of the late night ESPN game.

Running the streets of San Francisco is where I do my best thinking. Sometimes those nagging issues you’ve been dealing with for days or weeks just somehow find a solution at mile #2 when you’ve got that lactic acid building in your leg, but you stretch it out running up the steep incline on Upper Fillmore imagining you are Rocky only to find Gino’s liquor store and the last patrons of Jackson Fillmore coming out of the trattoria with sated appetites instead of a big statue at the top of the stairs overlooking Philadelphia.

It is my favorite time to run in San Franciso. The end of summer in San Francisco usually means our hottest days are coming. It means nights filled with low lying wispy fog that drenches your face during your runs. It also means those deep fog horns blaring throughout the night. During the day the fog blows out to sea and the days are filled with 80 degree weather. My dad used to call this fog, San Francisco’s natural air conditioner. It is so refreshing and almost is like our Spring in many ways. In fact with baseball season ending and football season beginning, it is like a whole new season, especially in San Francisco, home of the 5 time champion 49ers. Growing up going to games with my dad it was the time of hope and new beginnings. To me it still is that way. Now it’s with my own son.

Running the streets of San Francisco, with foghorns blaring I just smile to myself thinking about the great time I had at the ballpark with my son earlier in the day, introducing him to the people who have sat around us in the same seats for 30 years. The same people who gave me cookies and milk when I was his age now give them to my son. My son has no clue how he’s just living my life from 30 years ago. Cheering on the 49ers, high fiving strangers after a great play and eating terrible food that give you a stomach ache when you get home. It’s a cyclical pattern in life and yet it is a new beginning.

I can look back 30 years, but these days while I celebrate a year since my wife’s breast cancer surgery, I also look back a year when I was playing nurse to my recovering wife. It still isn’t over with her pending surgery coming. This will again hopefully be the last surgery for a while. This is one cycle I don’t want to have repeat itself. A year can make a huge difference both good and bad. There is no doubt in my mind that my wife and I are stronger than we were before.

So back to my running, I’m not an extremely spiritual person as I’ll go to church for special occasions, but running has been my place of worship and my confessional. Each run is my own search for the truth. I don’t run with others, justw ith my thoughts. It is where I ask myself if I truly believe. It is where I push myself and question my actions and where I look for the answer to many of life’s questions. It is my solitude that allow me to begin a new day every day with renewed energy. There is a running commercial where the person has to get through that first mile before they reach that special runner’s place. Yes, that the runner’s high. It is true for me like many. I feel better after an exhausting run that before I left. San Francisco has a part in that. It is that friend that is with me on every run. Its streets are the paths in life that I go over time and again. Yes Fall is here in San Francisco and my motivation is higher than ever.

Route 53 - Life is A Highway, Travels: The Route 53

Silverado Resort (Napa, CA)

September 18, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

The Silverado Resort (Napa Valley, CA)

1600 Atlas Peak Road, Napa, CA 94558

Reservations: L 707 757 0200 | T 800 532 0500 |

http://www.silveradoresort.com

One of the great advantages of living in the San Francisco Bay Area is the ability to find a restful world class resort within a short drive for a long weekend. The Silverado Resort has been a place wher I have attended weddings, corporate meetings, and professional golf events. But mostly I have come here to relax and play some golf.

At the center of the Silverado Resort and Country Club is a mansion constructed in the 1870s. While built with Italian and French architectural features, one can’t help but notice a plantation type feel to the main building and the adjoining administrative facilities (conference center, clubhouse, and tennis and recreation buildings). The mansion operates as the concierge and reception area and also houses a restaurant and bar. While the main building might feel stuffy, the accommodations are Napa Valley casual. The only other bit of stuffiness you might feel is that you must not wear short shorts on the golf course and collared shirts are required for those playing.

The resort is a full service resort that can accomodate large corporate meetings, weddings, tournaments, or just local tourist visits. Guests have at their disposal two 18 hole championship golf courses that have hosted PGA, LPGA, and Senior PGA events since the 1950s. Additionally, the hotel provides a new state of the art spa facility, a large pool area with whirlpool spa (there are 6 other pool areas), 17 tennis courts, a large conference and banquet facility, complimentary wi-fi, and bar & dining area. All rooms are supplied with Aveda bath products, and the bathrooms are large with a sit in tub shower although some might find the toilet and shower in the same room to be a little cramped. Rooms aren’t lavishly furnished but have a simple winery decor. We were also supplied a complimentary bottle of Chardonnay from the Silverado winery.

Located at the Southern end of Napa one block to the East of the Silverado Trail this resort is easily accessible to downtown Napa, the Silverado Trail wineries, and plenty of restaurants in the Napa Valley. Located on over 1200 acres , the resort is very quiet and is surrounded by vacation homes that are rented out by homeowners as an alternative to staying in the hotel. Miscellaneous: Silverado is constantly having sales depending upon the time of year. There are mid-week specials, lovers packages, golf packages, etc. Sign up for their newsletter on their website for details or at least make sure to follow their website. The best deals are in the Fall when the weather is cooler and the crowds are smaller. The Grill serves a nice Breakfast Buffet that you can enjoy inside or out on the patio overlooking the golf course.

Most of the rooms at the resort are located in 1 or 2 story condos/bungalows located in short walking distance from the main building in well manicured grounds. These bungalows can be configured into studio, one bedroom or two bedroom accommodations. The 1 or 2 bedroom configurations come complete with fully equipped kitchen and living room entertainment area and fireplacefor those cold Napa Valley nights. Ground floor units have an outside sitting area as well as a gated little courtyard. Upper units have a sliding door opeining to a balcony. The rooms aren’t perfectly quiet and we often could hear the couple upstairs or people walking by late at night, but overall the environment is fairly quiet and you’ll hear more crickets than anything else.

One of the older resorts in the Napa Valley, it lacks the chicness and intimacy of the new resorts built in recent years, but the resort still holds as a nice larger resort for conferences and young families. Many other resorts such as the Gage House in Sonoma discourage young children.

If you are a golfer, this resort marks one of the better places to stay and play. When you pull up the main circle driveway and see the mansion and the majestic palm trees, you can ‘t help but feel relaxed. The Silverado Spa is located across the street and although fairly new and seems to get a lot of business.

Walking around in the morning you find guests running the pathways, walking hand in hand in jogging suits or doing yoga by the side of the golf course.

I found it easy to just roll out of bed, walk over to the golf course and hit a bucket of golf balls on the range. Playing golf does require you to take a golf cart as the courses are pretty spread out and can be hilly in some areas especially in the heat of summer.

Part of the beauty of San Francisco is that there are so many beautiful places within easy driving distance from the city. Over the years we have taken advantage of the resort for long weekends. Golf specials have been a favorite of mine with my wife or golf buddies where we could stay and play. We have also taken advantage of romantic weekends where we could enjoy a glass of wine or two and not have to drive all the way home. On this particular occasion we took advantage of a 50% off end of summer package with our kids. The resort is very kid friendly and bringing your tennis rackets and golf clubs is recommended for locals. Playing a twilight round of golf will still cost you aroun$80 (with cart).

Yes, bring your bathing suit too. We ran into many friends who were also up their with their young families to enjoy the good weather and pool (Napa tends to be about 10-20 degrees warmer than San Francisco during the summer). I should note that in all the times I’ve stayed there, other than the corporate BBQs and catering, I have only eaten the brunch at their grill ($18 buffet) and had drinks in their bar. There are so many local chocies in the valley for cuisine from the Red Hen Cantina to Mustard’s Grill to Tra Vigne no matter what budget or experience you are looking for.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Another Milestone of Thanks on 9/9/9

September 10, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 2 Comments

“I won’t give up if you don’t give up” – Train from “Calling All Angels”

I want to give a big thank you to all friends, family and business associates who helped my family deal with my wife’s illness this past year.

Today was just another day of running around the house getting the kids out of bed, reminding them to put their clothes away, brush their teeth, comb their hair and rushing them out the door to school. Hundreds of thousands of families repeated that same ritual this morning without batting an eye. Kids waving at me in my rear view mirror as I drove off to work just put that smile on my face that puts one in a happy place. These small things we take for granted, but I’ve learned to cherish these moments which are the strong fibers in the fabric of our lives.

Midway through the day I was running through my emails, my Facebook updates, and my Tweets as I ate my lunch and someone wished me a “Happy 9/9/09”. The date in slightly different formats had two meanings for me. Exactly 10 years ago my wife went into labor with our first child. The hospitals were then packed on 9/9/99 with tech geeks in the area wanting to have their babies on that day. Incidentally my wife didn’t eventually give birth until 9/11 which gave my son an equally auspicious birthday.

More recently, the date marked exactly a year since I spent one of the longest days in my life at the hospital as my wife went through a 6 hour surgery to have her cancer removed. As I responded to a few emails including one from the mother of my son’s classmate (her husband is dying of cancer) I could only think once again of how fortunate we are. I can only say thank you so many times to the wonderful friends who supported us physically with meals, carpools, rehab walks, babysitting, and even just a nice cup of coffee as well as emotionally with advice, cards, flowers, and prayers through a very tough time. All of those efforts allowed us to get back to the living our normal every day lives without hardly skipping a beat. A big thanks also goes out to all our new friends who met as we entered into this new community in our lives who helped us better understand what we would be going through and prepared us for the months of hard work. Even more to those old friends I grew up with who gave their unconditional support even though we hadn’t seen each other in decades and barely knew my wife.

Why the video in this post? “Calling All Angels” by Train is one of those songs that has been in my iPod for years and was listened to occasionally, but this past year it kept pushing me through some of my long night runs (over 1100 miles since the night of that surgery), inspiring me to keep going until it became a big part of my mantra run. I felt like I was running the streets of San Francisco calling for angels to help and they did. Incidentally, Train is coming out with a new album called “Save me San Francisco” (the band was formed here) and their hit song, Hey Soul Sister, is a catchy little tune that I think captures the energy of the sisterhood of women suffering from breast cancer. The fight against breast cancer is an intense one wrought with emotion. The sisterhood is strong. The women I met as I searched for answers showed me how a strong community atmosphere can be so supportive. The song also captures for me my love for the woman who has been both my hope and my inspiration over the last year.

Well when I got home tonight all I could do was give my wife a big hug. The date had hit her in the middle of the day too. We smiled as our kids wondered why mommy and daddy were so happy that they had to give each other a big embrace in the kitchen. We just told them we are just very very lucky people. Only a year gone by and the ability to look back and smile and turn our heads to the future is a good thing.

Route 53 - Life is A Highway, Travels: The Route 53

Hotel Review: The Carneros Inn (Napa, CA)

September 7, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

The Carneros Inn, A Plumpjack Resort

4048 Sonoma Highway, Napa, CA 94559

Reservations 888 400 9000 | T 707 299 4900 | F 707 299 4950

http://www.thecarnerosinn.com

The Carneros Inn resort, a Plumpjack resort, is actually a small village of 80+ cottages built into miniature neighborhoods. The resort owners advertise the design as “California Farm”. To my wife and I it felt more like a Restoration Hardware catalog. If you like that look, you will love this resort much like we did. The basic garden “cottages” are small pre-fabricated 420 square foot suites that have a front porch and 420 Sq. feet of living space as well as a spacious bathroom with heated floors. In addition to the room is approximately another 420 sq. ft. outdoor living area you can walk out onto via your french doors. or through your outdoor shower. Yes, your outdoor shower. Our room came equipped with a king size bed, fireplace (with duraflame log), flatscreen TV, DVD player, soaking tub, a deck with chaise lounges, heating lamp and the aforementioned and signature indoor/outdoor shower. Some of these outdoor showers have a cutout so you can overlook the vineyards as you lather up.

All together the “farm” feel seemed like a luxurious alternative to our city digs just 35 minutes south of us. A great way to just get away mid-week to celebrate our anniversary, the Carneros Inn took us far away from our normal every day life even if it was just for 24 hours. We couldn’t have been further from home while still have the modern and local luxuries that we enjoy every day.

Although they know that you will most likely leave the premises, the Carneros Inn gave us plenty of reasons to never leave. The spa is a great retreat for locals and we found many women there for a “spa day”. There are 3 restaurants. The Boon Fly Cafe for a casual meal (hamburgers, donuts, etc.), the Farm, a high end restaurant featuring locally grown organic and sustainablly raised dishes, with homemade breads, pastries and Artesian charcuteries, and the Hilltop restaurant located near the adult pool. There is also a small grocery where you can pick up deli items for a picnic. Additional amenities include free bicycles which allow you bike the back roads to the local wineries where you can do some wine tasting, a large workout and fitness center, and two pool areas. One pool area has a baby wading pool complete with baby Adirondack chairs. The Hilltop infinite pool is for adults (over 14 only) and also includes an outdoor hot tub. There is a great pool staff waiting to help you with your umbrella, towel and drink orders. The resort has complimentary wi-fi as well as a complimentary stocked mini-bar.

Situated off of highway 121 between the Napa and Sonoma Valleys, you are are conveniently situated for winetasting in either direction. You are only a 5 minute drive to the Napa Outlets and downtown Napa. You are here for the aura of Northern California. Surrounded my vineyards, the only sounds you will hear at night are barking dogsfrom the local kennel, and the occasional scnet of cows and horses. The resort is literally walled off from the highway so it is easy to miss, but if you are looking for the sheet metal walls, you can’t miss it.

The closest Sonoma/Napa resort to San Francisco, the resort makes the perfect little getaway if you want to pamper yourself and get a little quiet and relaxation.

One of the great advantages of living in the San Francisco Bay Area is that we are so close to some of the most naturally beautiful Carneros09-000 places in the world. Just 45 minutes north of San Francisco is the Napa and Sonoma Valley Wine country. While there aren’t many discounts with this resort we took advantage of a mid week one night stay without an early checkout. The Carneros Inn is a sister company to the Plumpjack Resort located in Lake Tahoe and and is related to the Plumjack Winery as well as the now defunct Jack Falstaff eatery formerly located in San Francisco’s SOMA area.

All around the grounds are small apple trees with real apples. Do not pick them. Apples are placed in your room daily. The Bath products are made by Red Flower of New York. Amazingly for the price of the room, they do want to charge you $30 if you take the bath products home. A little cheap in my opinion given that the mini-bar and the wi-fi are complementary.

The resort itself while located on a highway is walled off from the traffic. Many might look at the resort like a compound or a commune sequestered from its surrounding neighbors by 30 foot high walls, electronic gates and acres of vineyards. In fact I thought to myself this place was laid out like the most beautiful summer concentration camp you’d ever seen. When you check in, you have to go to the front gate, give them your name and then drive to the far back corner of the resort where you will find the Hilltop registration.

: Private Deck and Yard

Registration was relaxed with bottled water being offered and then once given our card keys, we followed our bell hop in his golf cart down to our little parking area. Each cottage is grouped into groups of 6 to 8 cottage areas each forming their own mini-neighborhood. While there, only two other cottages were occupied in our neighborhood.

The resort also has larger homes that are available for time share purchases. This group of homes is called “The Orchard” While similar in style, these homes are more sturdily built than the cottages and are gorgeous. Be sure to visit one of the Open Home models when walking the grounds.

What separates this resort from other Napa resorts is the peacefulness. We did leave the resort for dinner (Farm restaurant was closed the night we stayed at the resort) only for dinner at Tra Vigne, the restuarant made famous by Chef Michael Chiarello of Napa Style. Other than that, we got everything we wanted. Peaveful night walks and even sitting alone in the hot tub overlooking the vineyards and staing at the stars for several hours. It was so beautiful we didn’t spend much time enjoying our beautiful room.

The outdoor waterfall shower was relaxing and very unique if you’ve never had an outdoor shower. I admit to using it after swimming and again late at night. Showering under a full moon was truly unique experience although I probably let in a few moths into our bathroom when I did that.

It isn’t often that you not focus your thoughts on the bedroom, but the Carneros Inn cottages have you focused so much on the bathroom. When the bell boy showed us to our room, most of the description time he spent with us was on the functionality of the shower which had 4 different sprays, the inverted shower door which takes you outside to the waterfall shower and then locks into place to separate you from your outdoor patio. The bathroom include a separate water closet as well as a soaking tub next to a picture window.

One night was definitely not enough time at the resort. We didn’t have enough time to enjoy all the wonderful secluded offerings such as the complimentary Bianchi bikes, the yoga studio and spa, the Hilltop dining area, or the market and Town hall areas where you can enjoy a friendly game of Bocce ball on their outdoor courts. The resort also offers in-room dining on your outdoor patio which we were planning on trying out . Yes, no reservations necessary.

This resort is definitely for those looking for some seclusion and quiet. Sightings of movie stars and other celebrities (San Francisco Mayor, Gavin Newsom, is the Founding partner and his sister , Hilary, is the acting President.

There are no tennis courts or golf courses associated with the property but the resort will make arrangements for those guest looking to play on any of the local course such as Silverado, Chardonnay or the Vintners Club.

: The Town Hall

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Some Mondays Don’t Go as Planned – A Loving Fight

August 25, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

“It Ain’t Over til It’s Over” – Yogi Berra

Gifts from our UCSF Decision Services group

As I start this entry we are waiting for the nurses as my wife waits on what we hope will be her final surgery, almost a year to the date of her original breast cancer surgery.

This summer has been a rough one with my father-in-law in the hospital on the opposite coast for 6 weeks fighting a staph infection that laid him up with severe back pains and a high fever which made him hallucinate. Trying to entertain kids on their annul summer visit while juggling a couple hours in the hospital each day was not a fun chore for my wife. On top of that her longtime neighbor and family friend died of lung cancer while we were visiting. My wife loves going home to visit friends and family, but this time despite the pending birth of our new nephew, I think she was happy to get back home. She hadn’t even gotten the chance to mention that she was about to undergo her 4th surgery in a year.

Four surgeries in a year is not a badge of honor and at the same time it is not even close to the amount of surgeries many people have gone through with breast cancer, but looking back on it I still wouldn’t wish it on anyone. A total of 22 hours in surgeries so far and the 4th only expected to be 90 minutes and I can only imagine the toll all the anaesthesia takes on the brain. Maybe its old age but I can already sense some memory issues with my wife. She’s been through a lot and I have all the respect for her approach to this last one.

This morning our kids were cranky about having to get up early and were giving my wife a hard time. It really didn’t make me feel good to have to pull each of them aside and remind them how lucky we are. For two young kids who have had nothing but cancer and hospital visits all around them for the last two years, they instantly knew this was not the time to be acting up and realized how fortunate to have what they have.

(Move ahead 15 hours)

Well my wife had a bit of a temperature today and they didn’t want to operate on her for fear she might be getting sick and there could be a resulting infection. They knew my wife and I would be disappointed when they broke the news. We had waited 4 months for this date, but now have to wait more. After such a hard morning getting there it was a bit disheartening. I could see my wife was bothered. I was bothered too. A little for me and a lot for her. Tonight I just felt I had to apologize as I think she could tell I was not happy with the delay as well. We just want to get all of this overwith. One last surgery we hope. Now the wait again. A wait for another surgery date.

We can’t be angry though. My wife and I tried to console each other and subtly reminded each other of how lucky we are to be where we are today. It hasn’t been easy and this wasn’t going to end easy either. We’d been patient this far and couldn’t take this personally. It is so easy to lose your cool when you can taste that chance of moving to the next step. What’s a few more months…heck we still have to wait a few more years to be considered cancer (and Tamoxifen) free. The cancer clinic itself has been great. Just a couple weeks ago during her pre-op appointment they gave her a framed article from the Wall St. Journal that she had helped with (she took photos with the physicians) as well as a huge bouquet of flowers. They really care for her well-being and would rather err on the side of conservatism. Getting to know people on a first name basis makes things so much easier on the patient. I remember seeing them having to look at the charts to remember my wife’s diagnosis and name. Unfortunately they know it real well now, but that sterile feeling of being “just another breast cancer statistic” is gone. Being able to ask your sugreon about their kids and how they are liking their new school just helps to ease the tension.

On a side note, our son’s classmate’s father who was given only a few weeks at the beginning of the summer is still holding on. He is weaker now, but he really wants to see his kids start the school year. It will help them and I think he will make it to that goal. It is really sad, but in a small way having their sons back in school with such a supporting community will make the eventual loss not as lonely. Just last year this happened with another schoolmate when they lost their mother after her six year battle and the school rallied to make meals all year long. I had a chance to see the father at the pool this summer and he said it had been a long year but it taught him about patience and forgiveness with his two young boys. They had lived with this cancer with their mother for 6 years and he said the highs and lows were rough. This year was very numbing without her. Knowing that my wife was in a similar situation, he just put his hand on my back and let me know I could talk whenever I needed.

Yep. Patience. Practice before and after. Take one step at a time. There is no rush when it comes to cancer because it is a long road.