Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Tales from the Waiting Room

September 28, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 4 Comments

BreastCancerSymbol

Okay, 4th time in a surgery waiting room in 13 months. It is one of the worst places to wait. Whomever said misery loves company was absolutely wrong. Today is even worse as I wait because the room is packed and the angst on the faces of the family just put a damper on my mood. People are talking loudly on the phone, sobbing uncontrollably, pacing over the zig zag rug pattern, or even joking with each other. Emotions run high and all of these people are just coping with their fear and worries with different strategies. Me? I’m here blogging this as two people argue over what we should all watch on the television. I think we are settling on re-runs of Friends. Appropriate, I guess.

Maybe my wife and are used to this or maybe even numb as we had to somehow already get through the day until her 4:30 surgery. Not as difficult as her past 3 surgeries I think my wife and I are good at distracting ourselves. I came home to find my wife had baked blueberry and muffins for our kids, planned out the pick-up schedule after school for the week and arranged a couple play dates. My mother and I looked at each other and chuckled. My own mother who had breast cancer told my wife she is probably the only person on this planet who baked before her mastoplexy on an empty stomach.

This never is easy though. My wife’s doctors always give me a time that is less than it is. A 6 hour surgery turns into 8, a 7 hour surgery turns into 9, a 2 hour surgery turns into 5 and already today’s one hour surgery is over 2 hours old. Every time the double doors to the surgery room open, everyone jumps up with an expectation it is their surgeon. I think sitting here alone with my computer is the best thing. Most of the anger is geared towards other family members about getting something to eat or drink.

It does make me appreciate my wife though more and more each time. These hours alone make you appreciate what you love about that person in the operating room. It isn’t just about hoping that they get out out the surgery okay, but about how much you love them, what they do for you, what you want to do with them and more. As I left for the hospital I thought I’d confess to my son that his mom was having surgery. He knew and I told him his mother would be okay. He casually said, “I figured”. I wanted to hug him but he just smiled and went up to do his homework. If he only knew how worried his dad is about his mother.

Well, I don’t think I can wait much longer. I need to go eat and move my car out of the garage….oops there she goes off to the recovery room. Doctor said she is good. Time to get dinner! Gotta get out of this depression chamber.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Foghorns, 49ers, and Fall

September 22, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

Life is a roller coaster ride
Time turns the wheel and love collides
Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky
So shine while you have the chance to shine
Laugh even when you want to cry
Hold on tight to what you feel inside and ride

– Lyrics to “The Ride” by Martina McBride

Kicking off a New Season in San Francisco

Today is officially the last day of summer and the first day of Fall. A beautiful time for me and a wonderful time in San Francisco. I believe if Mark Twain had stayed for the Fall, his famous quote would have read, “The coldest Winter I ever spent was the Summer I spent in San Francisco, but the warmth of its Fall Sunny Days and Foggy nights give the city it’s charm the makes it so beautiful.”

This is now the time to enjoy its 40 hills, its 49 square mile (some say its officially47) and some of its over 3000 wonderful restaurants. Tourists are gone, the weather is at its best, and if you want to venture up to the Napa wine country, it is time to see the Fall crush of the grapes which many say is the best time to visit.

Someone asked me recently, “What is with the midnight runs?” They really aren’t at midnight, but I have to admit they are later than most people run. They are also somewhat of a sore point with my wife as she doesn’t like my running in dark clothes with no identification on me. The truth of the matter is that while I am running sparsely populated streets at night, I do run a pretty regular route, I run on sidewalks and even some of the parking valets around know my schedule well enough to tell me if I’m running late, early or slow. Last night I was even able to tell the valets at Spruce Restaurant the score of the late night ESPN game.

Running the streets of San Francisco is where I do my best thinking. Sometimes those nagging issues you’ve been dealing with for days or weeks just somehow find a solution at mile #2 when you’ve got that lactic acid building in your leg, but you stretch it out running up the steep incline on Upper Fillmore imagining you are Rocky only to find Gino’s liquor store and the last patrons of Jackson Fillmore coming out of the trattoria with sated appetites instead of a big statue at the top of the stairs overlooking Philadelphia.

It is my favorite time to run in San Franciso. The end of summer in San Francisco usually means our hottest days are coming. It means nights filled with low lying wispy fog that drenches your face during your runs. It also means those deep fog horns blaring throughout the night. During the day the fog blows out to sea and the days are filled with 80 degree weather. My dad used to call this fog, San Francisco’s natural air conditioner. It is so refreshing and almost is like our Spring in many ways. In fact with baseball season ending and football season beginning, it is like a whole new season, especially in San Francisco, home of the 5 time champion 49ers. Growing up going to games with my dad it was the time of hope and new beginnings. To me it still is that way. Now it’s with my own son.

Running the streets of San Francisco, with foghorns blaring I just smile to myself thinking about the great time I had at the ballpark with my son earlier in the day, introducing him to the people who have sat around us in the same seats for 30 years. The same people who gave me cookies and milk when I was his age now give them to my son. My son has no clue how he’s just living my life from 30 years ago. Cheering on the 49ers, high fiving strangers after a great play and eating terrible food that give you a stomach ache when you get home. It’s a cyclical pattern in life and yet it is a new beginning.

I can look back 30 years, but these days while I celebrate a year since my wife’s breast cancer surgery, I also look back a year when I was playing nurse to my recovering wife. It still isn’t over with her pending surgery coming. This will again hopefully be the last surgery for a while. This is one cycle I don’t want to have repeat itself. A year can make a huge difference both good and bad. There is no doubt in my mind that my wife and I are stronger than we were before.

So back to my running, I’m not an extremely spiritual person as I’ll go to church for special occasions, but running has been my place of worship and my confessional. Each run is my own search for the truth. I don’t run with others, justw ith my thoughts. It is where I ask myself if I truly believe. It is where I push myself and question my actions and where I look for the answer to many of life’s questions. It is my solitude that allow me to begin a new day every day with renewed energy. There is a running commercial where the person has to get through that first mile before they reach that special runner’s place. Yes, that the runner’s high. It is true for me like many. I feel better after an exhausting run that before I left. San Francisco has a part in that. It is that friend that is with me on every run. Its streets are the paths in life that I go over time and again. Yes Fall is here in San Francisco and my motivation is higher than ever.

Route 53 - Life is A Highway, Travels: The Route 53

Silverado Resort (Napa, CA)

September 18, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

The Silverado Resort (Napa Valley, CA)

1600 Atlas Peak Road, Napa, CA 94558

Reservations: L 707 757 0200 | T 800 532 0500 |

http://www.silveradoresort.com

One of the great advantages of living in the San Francisco Bay Area is the ability to find a restful world class resort within a short drive for a long weekend. The Silverado Resort has been a place wher I have attended weddings, corporate meetings, and professional golf events. But mostly I have come here to relax and play some golf.

At the center of the Silverado Resort and Country Club is a mansion constructed in the 1870s. While built with Italian and French architectural features, one can’t help but notice a plantation type feel to the main building and the adjoining administrative facilities (conference center, clubhouse, and tennis and recreation buildings). The mansion operates as the concierge and reception area and also houses a restaurant and bar. While the main building might feel stuffy, the accommodations are Napa Valley casual. The only other bit of stuffiness you might feel is that you must not wear short shorts on the golf course and collared shirts are required for those playing.

The resort is a full service resort that can accomodate large corporate meetings, weddings, tournaments, or just local tourist visits. Guests have at their disposal two 18 hole championship golf courses that have hosted PGA, LPGA, and Senior PGA events since the 1950s. Additionally, the hotel provides a new state of the art spa facility, a large pool area with whirlpool spa (there are 6 other pool areas), 17 tennis courts, a large conference and banquet facility, complimentary wi-fi, and bar & dining area. All rooms are supplied with Aveda bath products, and the bathrooms are large with a sit in tub shower although some might find the toilet and shower in the same room to be a little cramped. Rooms aren’t lavishly furnished but have a simple winery decor. We were also supplied a complimentary bottle of Chardonnay from the Silverado winery.

Located at the Southern end of Napa one block to the East of the Silverado Trail this resort is easily accessible to downtown Napa, the Silverado Trail wineries, and plenty of restaurants in the Napa Valley. Located on over 1200 acres , the resort is very quiet and is surrounded by vacation homes that are rented out by homeowners as an alternative to staying in the hotel. Miscellaneous: Silverado is constantly having sales depending upon the time of year. There are mid-week specials, lovers packages, golf packages, etc. Sign up for their newsletter on their website for details or at least make sure to follow their website. The best deals are in the Fall when the weather is cooler and the crowds are smaller. The Grill serves a nice Breakfast Buffet that you can enjoy inside or out on the patio overlooking the golf course.

Most of the rooms at the resort are located in 1 or 2 story condos/bungalows located in short walking distance from the main building in well manicured grounds. These bungalows can be configured into studio, one bedroom or two bedroom accommodations. The 1 or 2 bedroom configurations come complete with fully equipped kitchen and living room entertainment area and fireplacefor those cold Napa Valley nights. Ground floor units have an outside sitting area as well as a gated little courtyard. Upper units have a sliding door opeining to a balcony. The rooms aren’t perfectly quiet and we often could hear the couple upstairs or people walking by late at night, but overall the environment is fairly quiet and you’ll hear more crickets than anything else.

One of the older resorts in the Napa Valley, it lacks the chicness and intimacy of the new resorts built in recent years, but the resort still holds as a nice larger resort for conferences and young families. Many other resorts such as the Gage House in Sonoma discourage young children.

If you are a golfer, this resort marks one of the better places to stay and play. When you pull up the main circle driveway and see the mansion and the majestic palm trees, you can ‘t help but feel relaxed. The Silverado Spa is located across the street and although fairly new and seems to get a lot of business.

Walking around in the morning you find guests running the pathways, walking hand in hand in jogging suits or doing yoga by the side of the golf course.

I found it easy to just roll out of bed, walk over to the golf course and hit a bucket of golf balls on the range. Playing golf does require you to take a golf cart as the courses are pretty spread out and can be hilly in some areas especially in the heat of summer.

Part of the beauty of San Francisco is that there are so many beautiful places within easy driving distance from the city. Over the years we have taken advantage of the resort for long weekends. Golf specials have been a favorite of mine with my wife or golf buddies where we could stay and play. We have also taken advantage of romantic weekends where we could enjoy a glass of wine or two and not have to drive all the way home. On this particular occasion we took advantage of a 50% off end of summer package with our kids. The resort is very kid friendly and bringing your tennis rackets and golf clubs is recommended for locals. Playing a twilight round of golf will still cost you aroun$80 (with cart).

Yes, bring your bathing suit too. We ran into many friends who were also up their with their young families to enjoy the good weather and pool (Napa tends to be about 10-20 degrees warmer than San Francisco during the summer). I should note that in all the times I’ve stayed there, other than the corporate BBQs and catering, I have only eaten the brunch at their grill ($18 buffet) and had drinks in their bar. There are so many local chocies in the valley for cuisine from the Red Hen Cantina to Mustard’s Grill to Tra Vigne no matter what budget or experience you are looking for.

Breast Cancer - A Loving Fight, Route 53 - Life is A Highway

Another Milestone of Thanks on 9/9/9

September 10, 2009 erikhom@aol.com 2 Comments

“I won’t give up if you don’t give up” – Train from “Calling All Angels”

I want to give a big thank you to all friends, family and business associates who helped my family deal with my wife’s illness this past year.

Today was just another day of running around the house getting the kids out of bed, reminding them to put their clothes away, brush their teeth, comb their hair and rushing them out the door to school. Hundreds of thousands of families repeated that same ritual this morning without batting an eye. Kids waving at me in my rear view mirror as I drove off to work just put that smile on my face that puts one in a happy place. These small things we take for granted, but I’ve learned to cherish these moments which are the strong fibers in the fabric of our lives.

Midway through the day I was running through my emails, my Facebook updates, and my Tweets as I ate my lunch and someone wished me a “Happy 9/9/09”. The date in slightly different formats had two meanings for me. Exactly 10 years ago my wife went into labor with our first child. The hospitals were then packed on 9/9/99 with tech geeks in the area wanting to have their babies on that day. Incidentally my wife didn’t eventually give birth until 9/11 which gave my son an equally auspicious birthday.

More recently, the date marked exactly a year since I spent one of the longest days in my life at the hospital as my wife went through a 6 hour surgery to have her cancer removed. As I responded to a few emails including one from the mother of my son’s classmate (her husband is dying of cancer) I could only think once again of how fortunate we are. I can only say thank you so many times to the wonderful friends who supported us physically with meals, carpools, rehab walks, babysitting, and even just a nice cup of coffee as well as emotionally with advice, cards, flowers, and prayers through a very tough time. All of those efforts allowed us to get back to the living our normal every day lives without hardly skipping a beat. A big thanks also goes out to all our new friends who met as we entered into this new community in our lives who helped us better understand what we would be going through and prepared us for the months of hard work. Even more to those old friends I grew up with who gave their unconditional support even though we hadn’t seen each other in decades and barely knew my wife.

Why the video in this post? “Calling All Angels” by Train is one of those songs that has been in my iPod for years and was listened to occasionally, but this past year it kept pushing me through some of my long night runs (over 1100 miles since the night of that surgery), inspiring me to keep going until it became a big part of my mantra run. I felt like I was running the streets of San Francisco calling for angels to help and they did. Incidentally, Train is coming out with a new album called “Save me San Francisco” (the band was formed here) and their hit song, Hey Soul Sister, is a catchy little tune that I think captures the energy of the sisterhood of women suffering from breast cancer. The fight against breast cancer is an intense one wrought with emotion. The sisterhood is strong. The women I met as I searched for answers showed me how a strong community atmosphere can be so supportive. The song also captures for me my love for the woman who has been both my hope and my inspiration over the last year.

Well when I got home tonight all I could do was give my wife a big hug. The date had hit her in the middle of the day too. We smiled as our kids wondered why mommy and daddy were so happy that they had to give each other a big embrace in the kitchen. We just told them we are just very very lucky people. Only a year gone by and the ability to look back and smile and turn our heads to the future is a good thing.

Route 53 - Life is A Highway, Travels: The Route 53

Hotel Review: The Carneros Inn (Napa, CA)

September 7, 2009 erikhom@aol.com Leave a comment

The Carneros Inn, A Plumpjack Resort

4048 Sonoma Highway, Napa, CA 94559

Reservations 888 400 9000 | T 707 299 4900 | F 707 299 4950

http://www.thecarnerosinn.com

The Carneros Inn resort, a Plumpjack resort, is actually a small village of 80+ cottages built into miniature neighborhoods. The resort owners advertise the design as “California Farm”. To my wife and I it felt more like a Restoration Hardware catalog. If you like that look, you will love this resort much like we did. The basic garden “cottages” are small pre-fabricated 420 square foot suites that have a front porch and 420 Sq. feet of living space as well as a spacious bathroom with heated floors. In addition to the room is approximately another 420 sq. ft. outdoor living area you can walk out onto via your french doors. or through your outdoor shower. Yes, your outdoor shower. Our room came equipped with a king size bed, fireplace (with duraflame log), flatscreen TV, DVD player, soaking tub, a deck with chaise lounges, heating lamp and the aforementioned and signature indoor/outdoor shower. Some of these outdoor showers have a cutout so you can overlook the vineyards as you lather up.

All together the “farm” feel seemed like a luxurious alternative to our city digs just 35 minutes south of us. A great way to just get away mid-week to celebrate our anniversary, the Carneros Inn took us far away from our normal every day life even if it was just for 24 hours. We couldn’t have been further from home while still have the modern and local luxuries that we enjoy every day.

Although they know that you will most likely leave the premises, the Carneros Inn gave us plenty of reasons to never leave. The spa is a great retreat for locals and we found many women there for a “spa day”. There are 3 restaurants. The Boon Fly Cafe for a casual meal (hamburgers, donuts, etc.), the Farm, a high end restaurant featuring locally grown organic and sustainablly raised dishes, with homemade breads, pastries and Artesian charcuteries, and the Hilltop restaurant located near the adult pool. There is also a small grocery where you can pick up deli items for a picnic. Additional amenities include free bicycles which allow you bike the back roads to the local wineries where you can do some wine tasting, a large workout and fitness center, and two pool areas. One pool area has a baby wading pool complete with baby Adirondack chairs. The Hilltop infinite pool is for adults (over 14 only) and also includes an outdoor hot tub. There is a great pool staff waiting to help you with your umbrella, towel and drink orders. The resort has complimentary wi-fi as well as a complimentary stocked mini-bar.

Situated off of highway 121 between the Napa and Sonoma Valleys, you are are conveniently situated for winetasting in either direction. You are only a 5 minute drive to the Napa Outlets and downtown Napa. You are here for the aura of Northern California. Surrounded my vineyards, the only sounds you will hear at night are barking dogsfrom the local kennel, and the occasional scnet of cows and horses. The resort is literally walled off from the highway so it is easy to miss, but if you are looking for the sheet metal walls, you can’t miss it.

The closest Sonoma/Napa resort to San Francisco, the resort makes the perfect little getaway if you want to pamper yourself and get a little quiet and relaxation.

One of the great advantages of living in the San Francisco Bay Area is that we are so close to some of the most naturally beautiful Carneros09-000 places in the world. Just 45 minutes north of San Francisco is the Napa and Sonoma Valley Wine country. While there aren’t many discounts with this resort we took advantage of a mid week one night stay without an early checkout. The Carneros Inn is a sister company to the Plumpjack Resort located in Lake Tahoe and and is related to the Plumjack Winery as well as the now defunct Jack Falstaff eatery formerly located in San Francisco’s SOMA area.

All around the grounds are small apple trees with real apples. Do not pick them. Apples are placed in your room daily. The Bath products are made by Red Flower of New York. Amazingly for the price of the room, they do want to charge you $30 if you take the bath products home. A little cheap in my opinion given that the mini-bar and the wi-fi are complementary.

The resort itself while located on a highway is walled off from the traffic. Many might look at the resort like a compound or a commune sequestered from its surrounding neighbors by 30 foot high walls, electronic gates and acres of vineyards. In fact I thought to myself this place was laid out like the most beautiful summer concentration camp you’d ever seen. When you check in, you have to go to the front gate, give them your name and then drive to the far back corner of the resort where you will find the Hilltop registration.

: Private Deck and Yard

Registration was relaxed with bottled water being offered and then once given our card keys, we followed our bell hop in his golf cart down to our little parking area. Each cottage is grouped into groups of 6 to 8 cottage areas each forming their own mini-neighborhood. While there, only two other cottages were occupied in our neighborhood.

The resort also has larger homes that are available for time share purchases. This group of homes is called “The Orchard” While similar in style, these homes are more sturdily built than the cottages and are gorgeous. Be sure to visit one of the Open Home models when walking the grounds.

What separates this resort from other Napa resorts is the peacefulness. We did leave the resort for dinner (Farm restaurant was closed the night we stayed at the resort) only for dinner at Tra Vigne, the restuarant made famous by Chef Michael Chiarello of Napa Style. Other than that, we got everything we wanted. Peaveful night walks and even sitting alone in the hot tub overlooking the vineyards and staing at the stars for several hours. It was so beautiful we didn’t spend much time enjoying our beautiful room.

The outdoor waterfall shower was relaxing and very unique if you’ve never had an outdoor shower. I admit to using it after swimming and again late at night. Showering under a full moon was truly unique experience although I probably let in a few moths into our bathroom when I did that.

It isn’t often that you not focus your thoughts on the bedroom, but the Carneros Inn cottages have you focused so much on the bathroom. When the bell boy showed us to our room, most of the description time he spent with us was on the functionality of the shower which had 4 different sprays, the inverted shower door which takes you outside to the waterfall shower and then locks into place to separate you from your outdoor patio. The bathroom include a separate water closet as well as a soaking tub next to a picture window.

One night was definitely not enough time at the resort. We didn’t have enough time to enjoy all the wonderful secluded offerings such as the complimentary Bianchi bikes, the yoga studio and spa, the Hilltop dining area, or the market and Town hall areas where you can enjoy a friendly game of Bocce ball on their outdoor courts. The resort also offers in-room dining on your outdoor patio which we were planning on trying out . Yes, no reservations necessary.

This resort is definitely for those looking for some seclusion and quiet. Sightings of movie stars and other celebrities (San Francisco Mayor, Gavin Newsom, is the Founding partner and his sister , Hilary, is the acting President.

There are no tennis courts or golf courses associated with the property but the resort will make arrangements for those guest looking to play on any of the local course such as Silverado, Chardonnay or the Vintners Club.

: The Town Hall