Yes, this is a joke! This isn’t a real celebrity sighting by me since I wasn’t there, but through my friend Greg, he brought me , in name only, close to Dina Manzo, the star of VH1’s My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding ($1.15MM) and Bravo’s Real Housewives of New Jersey! Greg happens to be friends with her nephew and niece. I had told him of my fondness of reality TV and the crazy episode where she interviews personal assistants and asks them to wash her hairless cat. He of course went ahead and told her (I thought he was joking) and they took this photo above!
As you know, for me celebrity sightings aren’t about really big celebrities but those who get their fleeting 15 minutes. Some get more. Some get less. Some are honestly real celebrities and some get it for odd reasons. I guess reality TV shows are one of those odd reasons, but I love the guilty pleasures of reality TV because there is “some realisim” there. There are lessons to be translated, motives NOT to be copied or copied, and some compelling personalities.
Of course even these shows are not really reality. That said I did marry a New Jersey girl myself, an Italian one at that. So this show is just an over-the-top view of what marrying an Italian New Jersey girl would be like. I think my wedding cost only $45K and not $1.15 million. You might say I got off cheap! I do have to say this photo is one of my all-time favorite celebrity photos relating to me. Now if she were kissing me and not the napkin, I think my own Italian wife would be feuding New Jersey housewife style! And if you have watched the show, you don’t mess with the Manzos. LOL!
So I’ve been tryin’ ta slow it down
I’ve been tryin’ ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we’re livin’ in
– Kenny Chesney’s Don’t Blink
A year has now passed since that day I walked in and found my wife sitting at the kitchen table and she calmly told me that her doctor had found a lump. You would think that will all of this upheaval that this is the year that could have seemed like it would have taken forever but it hasn’t. While it has been filled with surgeries and hardships, we’ve tried to fill it with other events and highlights to mix it up. The journey was tough but before we knew it we were through a surgery, on to recovery, back in to surgery, more recovery, etc. Three surgeries later and we still have at least one more, but we are moving on.
It is hard to move on though, because we have to respect where we’ve been. As part of our 15th anniversary, we spent some time away and took the time to reflect on the past year. You’d think that in a lifetime that this would be a throwaway year and one that you would want to chalk up as one you sweep under the rug and forget, but we agreed that our love grew for each other and our respect for each other and for ourselves grew as well. When your relationship takes a step forward you don’t throw out that year. So while in some ways the scars are still fresh and the dull aches are right there to remind us of what we’ve been through, the year has gone by some immensely fast. We’ve actually have done quite a lot and accomplshed quite a bit. I think it is because we didn’t procrastinate and sweat the little things. We just went for it even if we had to stretch a little further to get there. That said, time might have flown but we must have aged somehow.
I had to laugh this morning when I went to grab one of those Sunday-Saturday pill boxes to take a Centrum cardio pill. My wife told me I was grabbing the wrong one. I was grabbing the PM pill box and not the AM box. Last year we had no pill boxes and now we have one for AM and for PM! We sure get old and become our parents in a hurry! We had just had this conversation with some old classmates at a 30 year grammar school reunion. We were all complaining of aches and pains (everyone looked pretty good quite frankly) and it turns out several of my classmates also had gone through breast cancer recently. At the same time several others were now in their early forties and still having babies. Amazing. early 40s is not too young to be having breast cancer and still not too old to be having babies. Makes you scratch your head.
Meanwhile the beat goes on. My wife is prepping for another follow up surgery at the end of the summer yet stiill undergoing her monthly examinations and her clinical trial. They found some small indications of early osteoperosis but luckily her clinical trial has her taking medication to increase bone density. This is so crazy what they can find these days.
Speaking of aging I spoke with Dr. Ken Dychtwald, the reknowned gerontologist, today. We were talking about the recent rash of celebrity deaths and he reminded me that in previous generations these people would have died 15-20 years earlier but with the extended lifespan we are all enjoying through the miracles of modern medicine and science that instead of deaths happening ‘in threes” we will be seeing deaths in larger groups. “There are just simply going to be more people dying every day,” he said. I nodded and he smiled and continued, “That is why we live life harder every day. The secret to living longer is to live happier!” That coming from a man who gets remarried to his wife every year. to renew his vows.
Dr. Esserman of the Carol Franc Buck Breast Care Center
I thought I’d share this great article that appeared today about Dr. Laura Esserman who is the lead surgeon at the UCSF clinic where my wife goes for her procedures. My wife’s surgeon (S. Hwang) is part of this great group of surgeons who provide a great personal service.
The article also speaks to Jessica Galloway, who we had met through our children’s nursery school when my mother and she were going through chemo together. 5 years later, Jessica would be a great asset for my own wife as she navigated the information and questions associated with breast cancer.
I thought this article just captures the great community and personal excellence needed to get through a very trying time in the lives of breast cancer patients and survivors.
I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late
I run my life
Or is it running me
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
That’s when I run to you
– lyrics from “I Run To You”, by Lady Antebellum
We recently were given tickets and meet and greet passes at the Kenny Chesney Sun City Tour with opening acts, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert and Sugarland (they cancelled). We were lucky to have some time before the show with Lady Antebellum, a trio from Nashville (in the photo Around me from left to right they are Hillary Scott and Charles Kelley). Dave Haywood is not pictured)
Winners of the 2008 ACM New Artists of the year and performers of the recently #1 hit “I Run to You” they are a great group of 20-somethings. Not your traditional country artists, they have a real soulful sound that provides a new sound that has widespread appeal. “I Run to You” is about an expression against hate, prejudice, negativity, and the redemption of love in society. Hey maybe country music is growing on me.
I should add the the trio are a great group of kids and were terrific with our two children, signing autographs and giving them hugs. It was the first concert ever for our kids who were in total awe.
For those who are interested, many new artists give their fans a chance to meet them in Meet and Greets that are made available through a ticket purchase opportunity or via fan clubs, although our tickets came from their management group. Miranda Lambert also had a Meet and Greet arranged before this concert.
“When you get a second chance you never look back” – Sigfredo Sanchez, the father of San Francisco Giants pitcher, Jonathan Sanchez moments after his son pitched a no hitter
Giants pitcher Jonathan Sanchez hugs his father after pitching a no-hitter
…..this isn’t about a basebll no-hitter tonight. It is about a man, a pitcher, his father, and second chances. It is about taking a step back to take a giant leap forward.
We all hear of stories of second chances. Right now, for example, Lance Armstrong is coming back from his second retirement to race in the grueling Tour de France to help bring awareness to cancer. We see how adversity has made him stronger not only physcially, but mentally.
Tonight history was made for the San Francisco Giants as Jonathan Sanchez pitched a no-hitter. As any sports fan can attest when something happens for the team or teams they root for, they will always remember what they were doing. In fact tonight was the first time a Giants pitcher had pitched a no hitter in San Francisco in 34 years. On that day my father took me and some friends to a double header where I saw Ed “Ho-Ho” Halicki pitch a no-hitter against the Mets at Candlestick Park. As I watched tonight’s game, I started thinking about that day with my dad.
It was an incredible twist of fate for Sanchez. He was out of the Giants rotation and was in the doghouse. The newspapers were talking about him being traded. In fact things got so bad that no other teams were willing to trade for him. Now after this evening he is untradeable. How unpredictable was this? Only the fact that former Cy Young winner, Randy Johnson, got injured was Sanchez pitching tonight. The accomplishment was even more surprising given that the Giant’s starting pitching rotation consists of 3 Cy Young winners (Lincecum, Johnson and Zito) and a 4th pitcher who some argue has pitched better than them all (Matt Cain). Sanchez was the forgotten one. He was down on himself, kicked out of the rotation and replaced by a 28 year old rookie. So down was he that his father flew in from Puerto Rico just to give his son some support. It was the first time he had ever seen his son start a Major League Game in his 5 big league seasons. The personal story of Jonathan and his dad played out perfectly. His father fought back his tears as the embraced in the dugout and he told his son the words at the top of this entry. Fate also brought him together with his rookie catcher for the evening, Eli Whiteside, also a great story. The Giants regular catcher was at the hospital with his wife who is expecting, and was told only hours before the game that he would be catching. So it was by chance that this unlikely duo were thrust upon the scene and they will forever be linked. Jonathan Sanchez’s name will go up on a wall in Cooperstown, as the 262nd no-hitter in history.
His father is right, second chances are something we all don’t get much of, but when we do, we need to take advantage of them. Listening to the announcers, Sanchez had consulted for many days with anyone who would listen and worked countless hours on his own to fix his delivery and most of all learn to keep his head in the game. He had some good help. Randy Johnson, pitching coaches, Dave Righetti and assistant pitching coach Mark Gardner had all pitched no-hitters before and given him the mental knowledge. Not only had Sanchez never pitched a major league no hitter before, he had never pitched a complete game or a shutout, never having completed eight innings in a big league game. He got to uncharted waters and finished it.
Back in our daily lives my wife and I sat there and watched the story unfold and talked about how special this evening was for this young man and how his perseverance was something to learn from. When my mother-in-law called the other day, we thought she was calling to wish us a Happy 15th anniversary, she was calling to tell us my father in law is in the hospital fighting an infection with a 102 degree fever. Along with a couple of parents around us dying of cancer, it served a reminder that we are in our second chance right now with recovery from my wife’s cancer. In fact we need to come out better than before. Those with adversity like Jonathan Sanchez and Lance Armstrong seemed stronger because of the level of “fight” they needed in ther bodies. So this week we will be celebrating our second chance with a delayed anniversary celebration.
They say that true sports fans root for the laundry and not for the players themselves. I truly do root for the players. I root for their stories of how they came to be. I root for the human spirit within us all and the events which make that spirit in each one of us burn brighter than before. Jonathan Sanchez represents all that is right. Their individual stories are inspiring in themselves. As my wife saw the events unfold and heard the announcers provide color to the story she started rooting for “Johnny” Sanchez. She wanted his second chance to be successful and I saw she was also rooting for the human spirit. Sanchez , as you might hear Randy Johnson tell you, has just as much talent as anyone on the team which says a lot.
Congratulations to Johnny Sanchez and all the people out there who have had a second chance. They say no-hitters are great timing, great talent, and a little good luck. Well, I think sometimes you have to make your own luck and you have to put yourself in the situation to have good luck. It reminds me of the quote from one of my favorite actors, Gene Hackman, from the movie, “The Replacements” : ” I look at you and I see two men: the man you are and the man you oughtta be. Someday those two men will meet”. Tonight, they met for Jonathan Sanchez.
” Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it.”
– Judge Learned Hand
Route 53 at the Fair
4th of July is one of those holidays that has grown on me. I’m not overly patriotic, but with time I’ve become a bit nostalgic about what it means to me and those who do really honor the holiday in its truest form. It isn’t just about those who fought for our freedom and independence in 1776, but those who continue to do so. I’ve never been a big fireworks person either. Seeing the scars on the face of one of my uncles who supposedly got scorched by one when I was a little kid probably cured me of any infatuation a little boy could ever have. It probably didn’t hurt either that visiting my grandmother in San Francisco’s Chinatown where firecrackers were recklessly thrown out of windows on innocent people had once rung my ears to the point I thought I had lost my hearing.
Seven years ago when I joined in partnership with my childhood friend to start a franchise business I would never have imagined myself as someone who would be attending fairs and festivals. To jumpstart our business we became “carnies”. Selling ice cream at art festivals and county fairs. It seemed so gauche. But we did it for a cause. You see, when we started our business we wanted to do something that would give back. We wanted to contribute to the community and that is why we created our business with Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream. Running a small business with a philanthropic business plan to give back to the community was a pretty heady endeavor. We also wanted to do something was fun and that our children would think was cool. Our franchise is based in Marin County, just north of San Francisco and we have spent much of our philanthropic time devoted to youth arts programs, the children’s pediatric ward at the local hospital, and the national headquarters for the Guide Dogs for the Blind. Our San Francisco franchise has been ironically contributing to the UCSF pediatric cancer unit since we took over.
So if you think that selling ice cream doesn’t put smiles on faces, this is one business owner who is proud of what he does. This year as we ran our day at the fair we had a time to reflect on the past several years and felt quite proud of what we’d been able to achieve. We hadn’t made gobs of money, but we had created tons of smiles. That is what America is about isn’t it? Lots of people making others smile?
Ironic isn’t it? My grandfather, who brought our family to the US sold meat scraps from a cart until he established a meat distributorship empire that fed his family. As a butcher, he used to tell me that the most useless part of a cow were its udders and here I am selling a product from those very udders. Of course I have more fund with it. We’ve created this great ice cream eating contest where teams race to eat a bucket of ice cream (Vermonster) and then for kids they race to eat pints of ice cream. It has become an annual spectacle at the local fair. This year the winning team just missed the world record which was set 3 years ago by 0:02 seconds.
Me and the Vermonsters
Me with the County Dairy Princesses
The Moo Crue..a winning effort
Kids Pint Eating Contest
As you can tell we have a lot of fun with this. On a more serious topic though I was really hit by the death of all the celebrities (entertainment, political, sport, etc) over the past fortnight. Forgetting all the media hype, it struck me that this really is a piece of Americana. A politician, an NFL quarterback, a sex symbol, a rock star, a politician, an actor/credit card spokesperson and a guy on a commercial. As I ran tonight, I smiled at the irony. This is truly America and it is funny all of these people were basically sharing the same obituary. This is truly America in a nutshell. Not because they all died close to each other, but it really showed the diversity of interests amongst the American people. Our lives are all so diverse and we celebrate our independence in different ways and worship different icons.
I might not yet celebrate anymore those who gave us our independence over 230 years ago, but I think we should pay our respects to those who celebrated that Independence and gave us memories to last the rest of our lives.
A Victory LapThe legacy of the dead will survive in the memory of the living
– The Mission (movie)
Tonight I was going through my personal email before heading home and saw a note about the parent in our class who has been fighting cancer for the last few years. He had been told that he has a few weeks left. I have given this parent and his wife Donald Wilhelm’s book, This Time’s A Charm, and although this parent does not need to read about another person’s cancer I felt that there are many similarities. What made me smile about this particular email was a great little note which made me cry and smile at the same time. It just reminded me about the human spirit and the strength that exhibited when it is faced with death. There is a calmness as well as an inspirational outlook when you investigate.
My father had always told me to try and put myself in the other person’s shoes to understand what they are going through. This was not a difficult one. With two young children of the same age as my own two children, I can just imagine the sadness going through his mind of not being able to see them grow up, not being able to take care f them and his wife, and not wanting to leave too much of a mess behind me. I had first thought that I didn’t want to bother them. I wanted to let them have their last days together and not try and take their kids away to take them off their hands for a couple hours. They didn’t need their kids away from their dad’s last days. They’ve seen him suffering for several years, but now he need to see his sons and give them some last memories of how to live strong. A last lesson that a father can pass to his sons in the hope that it will help them to live without a dad. They later mentioned that he wants his kids with them til the very end. I believe they think this time is very special and they have said more than on one occasion that each minute is a gift and that they are cherishing each one.
What got me over to their house tonight was the email though. In it was a paragraph and some photos ( I’ve received permission to share them):
So……..on XXX’s “bucket List” was a final entry: to enter the Antique Motorcycle Show. On Saturday, (after the hospital visit – and after they had received such devastating news) the family & some neighbors got together and loaded his 1926 Indian onto a trailor and towed it to the show. He was a passenger – and was able to get up & walk around a bit at the show. His Motorcycle won! He did a victory lap at the show, and when he came home – he said he will die a happy man.
As I mentioned, I cried and smiled as I read the email just before leaving work. I just had to stop by and visit. I was pleased to see another father there visiting the family. While smiles were there and he proudly held on to the award for his motorcycle, I could see his sadness and that he was sick as he had to leave a couple times during our conversation. His wife smiled and joked and I tried to stay within the moment which is hard to do when there is a 500 pound gorilla in the room. Watching their children play around the room saddened me. They seemed to ignore the conversation and
I did not want to stay too long out of respect for taking up too much of the limited quiet time they have together. I also was feeling a bit guilty. I thought of my own children at home and couldn’t help but feel very fortunate.
Winning in Life
Upon my return home I gave my children both a big hug. My son knew what was going on and asked me how his classmate’s father was doing. I told him the truth and how we need to be wary of this situation and do what we can when the time comes to help them. Although our sons are not close, I believe my son unfortunately understands the gravity of the situation given what are family has gone through this past year. As I put him to bed his questions out of concern for his classmate showed incredible compassion. Then I saw his own concern and fear as he asked me how I was doing and if we are okay in our family. He was putting himself in his classmate’s shoes. Even when I told him “We’re okay”, he did ask for reassurance. I just reminded him to take one day at a time and enjoy it and give it your best, but not worry too much.
As I shut the door on his room after kissing him goodnight, he gave me those final last words that we greet each other with every day, “Dad, good night, and take care of your body.” I laughed because kids are still innocent to believe that words will make things alright. To me it is just that you never know what those last words might be to someone. My words to this dad which might be my last to him? I can’t remember. I’m sure that they weren’t as profound as I’d want them to be, but I just didn’t want to say goodbye either. I didn’t want to remind him or anyone of the looming days.
Life is too short to not have a bucket list, but it is also too precious to live by it as well.
There must have been an angel by my side
Something heavenly led me to you
Look at the sky
It’s the color of love
There must have been an angel by my side
Something heavenly came down from above
He led me to you
– from Sade’s Kiss of Life
“It won’t be easy”, he said. That was fifteen years ago the night before my wedding when I asked my dad what he thought the secret to a long marriage would be. I laughed because that is what he’d always say when you pressed him about his own marriage. “It hasn’t been easy.” It was always a laughing matter but that night he just told me there is no roadmap but rather a lot of sweat and hard work. He told me marriage to him was a lot like a second job and if you don’t love it you won’t be good at it.
Well march ahead 15 years: 2 kids, 3 homes, 4 jobs, 5 cars, and 15 lbs( 1 for every year of marriage) later I can say he was right but it has been worth every minute. Last year when we had our 14th, I was sitting around talking with my wife in a Little Italy bar in New York saying how the first 14 years had gone quite smoothly despite the loss of my father and one miscarriage. We felt pretty blessed and there was no doubt we married the right person. Little did we know then that about a month later we would find my wife would be diagnosed with breast cancer. I don’t think this is what my dad had in mind.
Today’s anniversary will be marked by the passing of two icons from my childhood, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. My mother reminded me of how I had both of their posters up in my room as a kid. We laughed at how my Chinese grandmother who didn’t speak English had remarked that her grandson had posters of a Black man (Hock gwoi or black ghost) and a half naked white woman (Bock gwoi or White Ghost) up all over his bedroom and that she was not happy about it. I was fortunate to have met Farrah Fawcett as an 8-yr old on the set of Charlie’s Angels as we knew the hairstylist on the set. She was the first “older lady” I had a crush on and I was the envy of all my friends as I had her autograph. Back then though she was married to the “Six Million Dollar Man”, Lee Majors. I hated his guts. LOL!
It reminds us of how fragile life is and how we must take care of ourselves. We all know Michael lived a secluded and eccentric lifestyle which did not appear healthy. The cancer that Farrah Fawcett had usually has a 70% mortality rate if caught early which was not the case for her.
Today also marked for me the first day of a new cholesterol fighting drug for me. My doctor says this is precautionary as although I lead a healthier lifestyle than most with exercise and diet, my levels are high mostly from a genetic standpoint. I’m not going to fight it. He’s right, but I do have to give up grapefruit for the rest of my life it seems as it doesn’t react well with the drug.
Like our marriage, we didn’t do anything special for our anniversary. In 2 days my in-laws will be celebrating their 50th anniversary. And as they wished, they won’t be doing anything. We’re different though. We’re just not doing anything because we are both busy right now. We’ll celebrate in a couple weeks when our calendar frees up. I had to look it up but I was shocked at the traditional gifts for commemorating a 15th anniversary:
15th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Crystal
Modern Anniversary Gift: Glass/Watches
Travel Anniversary Gift Ideas: Switzerland, Austria
Our marriage has never been by the book so those gifts are just guidelines we will choose not to follow. I have to laugh at this title of this entry as it is the name of the song I chose for our first dance. My wife didn’t like it and had actually said no when I proposed it to her. A few weeks later she brought me the same song and said she heard it on the radio and thought it would be perfect. I looked at her asi if to say, “So this is how it is going to be?” I just smiled and swallowed my pride.
Sure my wife and I have our spats. It is because we are passionate about our marriage and we have lots to fight for. It hasn’t been an easy 15 years but they have moved swiftly and with plenty of memories. The Kiss of Life was the right son for us and hopefully we’ll have plenty more.
Ben Wildman-Tobriner is only the second San Franciscan to win an Olympic medal and ironically he was taught by Ann Curtis, the first San Franciscan. Ann has a pool in Marin where I learned to swim during my summers and where my children now go to learn. Recently, Ben showed up at the pool during our kid’s lesson so that they could touch the Olympic Gold Medal that he won at the 2008 Beijing Olympics as part of the 4×100 meter freestyle relay team (he swam in the semifinal heats). Ben currently holds the US Record in the 50-yard freestyle in a time of 18.87 seconds. He also was the World Champion in the 50 meter free in 2007.
My other connection to Ben is that he went to the same high school I went to (years apart) and was also on my school’s swim team. Ben is a self made kid. It is very rare to see a kid like Ben from the inner city that is not made of swimming pools become an international swimming champion. Our high school (Lick-Wilmerding) is not a sports powerhouse. With only 450 kids, you usually get drafted by coaches to help fill out sports rosters. In highschool my swiumming team was a motley gang of kids who didn’t wear speedos or skin tigh swimming caps to remove resistence. We had maybe 8 kids on our team. The same was with Ben years later. Ben swam at the local boys and girl’s club in San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury district. No pristine facilities. It is like the the Rocky of swimming pools.
Ben went on to be a star in the Stanford University swimming program and is now at UCSF Medical School where my wife is currently being treated for her cancer. He is now torn between medical school and his swimming career. Ben has a great humble head on his shoulders and has given back to the pools that helped him to get where he is today. I only wish the other swimmer on the US team that won 8 gold medals has the same character as Ben.
I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life’s greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as it sounds, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret” – Anthony Robbins
I borrowed the title of this blogentry from the new Black Eyed Peas album. The last couple of days just hit me kind of hard if you hadn’t guessed. Although three years have passed, the memories of my father are still strong and I’m learning they will always be withme. Although my father probably didn’t have a very tight relationship with his father, I’m sure there was enough to hold onto that lasted a lifetime for him.
My life is spent trying to make those long lasting memories for my own children. If I were to leave them prematurely I want them to have something to hold onto and cherish as their own. The night before Father’s Day we went out to a night baseball game that had a pre-game ceremony to honor Randy Johnson as only the 24th pitcher to reach the 300 career wins plateau in Major League Baseball. This is out of the over 8000 pitchers who have ever thrown a baseball in the major leagues. There in person were greats such as Tom Seaver, Gaylord Perry, and Nolan Ryan and we had front row seats. My son just sat there in awe reading the accomplishments of these men. When I asked him what he got out of it, he told me that none of them reached their goal until they were in their 40s. It is not what I had noted, but it was observant. These men had not only worked hard at their craft but they did it for a long time.
Well Father’s Day rolled around and like my dad did when I was a kid, I snuck out of the house to the golf course. Playing San Francisco’s Presidio Golf Course is my way to still play golf with my dad. Years ago I walked the course in the evening and spread my dad’s ashes. It was the route he walked his dog many time and the course that he played on many occasions as it is only two blocks from the house we lived in as a family. There is something about baseball and golf between a father and his child. Whether they are watching or playing, there is lots of time to talk about the little things in life that create the largest memories.
It was a beautiful Father’s Day and I was matched up with three other Fathers who had snuckout as well. One of the joys of San Francisco municipal golf that my dad instilled upon me was the fun of meeting new people on a golf course and getting to know them over a course of 5 hours as you stroll beautifully manicured terrain. We were really four strangers walking alone withour thoughts. Occasionally I would stop and stare at a tree or a bunker and could still see my dad playing. I hadn’t played a full 18 holes of golf in several months, but this round was special. I’ve played this course close to 100 times in my life and on this Father’s Day I played my best round ever. I almost matched my dad’s feat of a hole in one on Father’s Day as I missed one by about 2 feet. Probably the closet I’d ever come. Nope, no storybook ending here. It didn’t matter. I had a great day with my dad and I’m sure he would have given me a few pointers and word of advice. I could still feel his presence behind me reminding me to keep my head down, whistling at my good shots and chuckling at my lousy ones and shaking his head.
I came home to watch the US Open and the video clip above played. It is the story of a family that lost their father prematurely 10 years ago just a few months after their father (Payne Stewart) had one of his career highlights on Father’s Day. It was a sad but great Father’s Day story and tells of how his son still follows in his father’s steps. Myabe everything isn’t identical, but the purpose is similar. The 5 hour hike /walk/ golf round earlier had cleared my head but more than anything gave me peace of mind and although I didn’t match my Father’s hole-in one, I had a renewed energy about playing the course better than ever before.
In watching the US Open I rooted for Phil Mickelson, a man tormented by his wife’s pending breast cancer surgery. His co-survivor cancer story mirroring my own, I felt right there with him. On Monday, his charge ran short and he finished as a runner-up in the US Open for a record 5th time. The ending almost looked perfect, but he lost. Then I thought about it. The commentators kept using the words “storybook ending”. If he won the tournament it would have been a great accomplishment, but I don’t think it would have been storybook. He and his wife are facing surgery next week and I’m sure there are many more happier endings that they could think of right now.
As my day ended at work I got a phone call. It was my doctor. I knew it would come some day. Cholesterol lowering drugs. I’m in better shape than my father and live a healthier life, but its just my dad’s genetics and this is one legacy I did not want to follow. Let this be a lesson to all out there. I just reached 500 miles run so far this year. I ate steel cut oatmeal 5 days a week for the last 2 years. I have a low weight for my height, yet my genetics still drive a higher than normal cholesterol count.
Going back to baseball I just read the story of 1st baseman Joey Votto of the Cincinnati Reds who lost his father last August. Baseball was his connection to his father and suddenly without him there, he just couldn’t do it anymore. The man who played catch with him, coached him, and taught him how to respect and love the game was no longer there to enjoy it with him and he didn’t know how to do it alone. He said this past weekend he spent one last weekend in solitude with his father’s memory on Father’s Day but that he is now ready to resume.
Yes there were no storybook endings this weekend, just the real world. But that is okay, because as we all can see, the focus and dedication to follow our dreams and goals is what matters as long as that energy never dies. From Payne Stewart to Phil Mickelson to Joey Votto, we see examples of a relationship of a Father and son, a husband and wife, and the communication channel of a conversational sport where life’s lessons can be taught. Payne Stewart’s son Aaron has found a way to honor his dad, Phil Mickelson found a strength to show his wife how much he wants her to fight, and Joey Votto found a way to let his Father’s memory live under a different type of energy. These aren’t storybook endings but they are all nice stories in a chapter of a long book.
