“Who’s Coming with Me?” – Jerry Maguire

My late night runs are not just about health and fitness.  Sometimes the runs are just a place for me to contemplate life and where it is taking me.  Usually it is about my dreams, hopes and fears.  My wife usually laughs at me because I come home sweating and also with a list of things that I think we should do or I’d like to do.

Fears – Right now I’m still fearing for my wife’s mortality.  I hope that she can get the next part of her surgery done.  She’s uncomfortable but not complaining.  The problem is we are stuck now as the doctors have her in limbo.  They say that getting time in the OR to complete surgery is going to take time.  We don’t have time as we’ve made lots of plans already  We’re all frustrated.  Tonight, just as I was about to go for a run I felt a twinge in my back.  There is a small lump on my hip (a hip pointer? cancer?)  Ackk, how can I even think of that?  I remember in college when my roommate died of cancer.  Every little bump on my body struck fear in me.  I have to check this out.  I fear leaving my children and wife alone.

Hopes and Dreams?  They all sit with my kids.  This week we elected our first black President.  To me, the President that our country was going to select was going to be a new direction no matter what.  As I went to the airport the day after the election, all I saw were smiling and hopeful faces.  People had hopes.  Very high hopes.  I’m sure those smiles might not have been as wide in some parts of the country, but I’m sure we are waiting for the next 8 weeks to move on and see what will happen.  My children are growing up in a great country and I want to give them every chance to laugh think and cry that I have. 

Again, as I ran tonight I dreamed.  Dreamed of traveling to far away places with my kids, dreamed of giving my daughter’s hand away in marriage, dreamed of attending a great sporting event with my son, and dreamed of seeing my wife happy and healthy.

Tomorrow is my highschool 25 year reunion.  My good friend said, well here we go down the second half of our life.  I told I don’t put my life in two halves.  I’m in my middle third.  The first third is growing, The second third is playing and the last third is reflecting and giving.  He laughed and said I was in denial.  I told him I was just living my life as I saw it.  I’m going to live my life as happily as I can.  Anyone coming with me?