Finding our Heart – Fighting for Life

If you lost love, do you know where to find it? – One Republic

My wife has reached what I think is her second wind in this battle.  She has resumed her gym membership, gotten off all of her pain killers, started wearing bras again, watching old episodes of Sex and the City (the ones where Kim Cattrall has cancer and laughs about hot flashes), and strted her 3 years of hormonal therapy (Tamoxifen).  She gets her first OS shot in two days.

What else?  She has completed her shopping list for the holidays and is getting ready to send out the holiday cards.  She has an energy and zest for life I haven’t seen in a while.  She cracked me up tonight when she mentioned that when her 75 year old mother comes to visit for the holidays that she is going to drag her to the clinic to get tested for the BRACA gene.  All of this energy is so beautiful in my eyes.  I am thinking of the days when my wife wanted to just curl up and cry.  This was all a little over 3 months ago.

Now we laugh at Kim Cattrall in a bad bra and wig giving a cancer speech while suffering through hot flashes.  Obviously not funny to all but we are having to laugh at it knowing that we are just around the corner from all of that.  Somehow just commiserating has helped her find her heart.  Our heart.  We’ve lost it the past few months as we wrapped it in armor and tried to protect ourselves from the pain.  The armor seems to have been shed and we are coming out again just in time for the holidays.

I can’t take credit though for her recovery.  Its is all her.  Her fight, her energy, her love, her heart.  I’m so glad she has returned to me and our kids.  He’s been there the whole time physically, but her true being is starting to come back and the smiles in our house are returning.

2 thoughts on “Finding our Heart – Fighting for Life”

  1. I have written a memoir about my late wife, who died from breast cancer last year. I was inspired to write My Life with Laura: A Love Story partly because I wanted our now three-year-old daughter to better know her mother. For more information, see the press release..

    As I am new to the self-publishing world, I recently ran across an interesting way of promoting my book, while also cross-promoting our respective blogs. I would send you a copy of my book, and for one week, I would go on a “blog book tour,” whereby I would “visit” a different guest blog each day. I would add you to my blog roll, and on your day, you could choose to review the book, profile me, ask me questions, or whatever. I am planning to do this the week of January 12. Click here for more information.

    Do you think that Route 53 would want to participate? Since your wife is also currently battling breast cancer, I think that it would be a good fit. Let me know. Thanks for considering it.

    – Chad Moutray (moutray@comcast.net)

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